HomeWork...thanks Sola!

I got tagged by Sola... supposedly as a thank you gift for being a part of the welcoming team.
I will sha do it sha...

Where's ur cell phone?
Looking at me from beside my laptop, wondering why i am not paying it so much attention. lol
Where's ur significant other?
Wish i could tell you *sob*
Your hair colour?
I am guessing black...
Your mother?
Most awesomest...Love her to bits.
Your father?
Really Awesome dude...Love him!
Your favorite things:
My wheels, My Blackberry...dont know what i will do without my BB
Your dream last night?
Something about getting back what i lost...
Your dream goal?
Owning my systems design company and getting it traded on the stock exchange.
The room you're in?
Living Room...in the middle of the day, feeling like a bum!
Your hobby?
Music, Travelling...
where u wanna be in six years?
Career balling with my brand new family by my side...see me for details
Where were you last night?
Watching the superbowl...Of course my boys won! Steeler Nation Holla!!!
What you're not?
I am not responsible for that pregnancy!!! lmao!
One of your wish list items:
A house.
Where you grew up?
Ondo town, Ondo State, Nigeria!!!
Last thing you did?
Ate noodles...i do that a lot these days...eat! (fyi: i no fat, trying to gain weight to no avail. lol)
What are you wearing?
White t-shirt, black hoodie and jeans houseboy knickers.
Your pet:
Have not had any recently. I had ferrets for a while tho. Cant wait to get my roc tho.
Your computer?
Has been my best friend for the past few weeks.
Your mood:
Quite ok now cos i have good company
Your car?
Is prolly my most prized possession right now....urm, yup!
Something you're not wearing?
Shoes.
Favorite store?
Any Dollar Store.
Your summer?
Have had awesome summers so far...this one is going to be different for me cos its going to be my first summer alone. Wish me luck.
Love someone?
hmmm, long story... I love my family and friends tho
Your favorite colour?
Royal Blue.
Last time you laughed?
Last Night
Last time you cried?
if u had asked me this question yesterday morning, i would have said 3 years ago at grand popc's funeral...but asking me this today, i will say yesterday, a bug flew into my eye. lol!
Are you a bitch?
I certainly hope not. lol!
Favorite pastime:
Music
Hater or lover:
I like to think i am a lover...i can hate pretty intensely too. lol
Genuine or fake:
I think i am genuine. never been called fake before so it stands at Genuine.
Any vices?
Procastination maybe, vain sometimes maybe. or maybe i am just perfect. lol
Pro life or wire hanger:
Its a matter of choice and circumstances...explanation will take a whole post.
Mccain or Obama:
Mc what? Barrizu Obizzu all day long!!
Pro-plastic or natural:
natural is always better but plastic has a way of just appealing to your senses from afar. lmao!!
Dream job?
Where the big bucks roll in...


This thing was like homework or like a project and i will like to pick my project partners...NaijaBabe, Smaragd, Honeywell, Icequeen, Funms and NDQ....if u heard ur name, please shout present, raise ur hand and come forward.

tawakalitu don shenj -leta from amerika

Guys, i know i been away for quite some time. e get plenty plenty things wey dey shele wey dey ok, and e get some wey no suppose dey shele, but the remote control still dey Baba God hand. I dey kampe. lmao.

I been doing a lot of travelling lately and so i will use that as my excuse for not being around blogville that much...not the kinds of travelling i would have wanted this Xmas time but trips still. Anyways, so thats my story and i am sticking to it!!!

So i found this letter somewhere, i dont even remember where but i just had to share it wif u guys. i think i tweaked it here and there, lets hope i did not fk it up yet. lol

Here it goes:


My Dia Moda,

How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage.
Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no good o!

I know sey you don spend plenty money on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am.
Effa since she enta house na so so wahala and complain. She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.

The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh....me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kain play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kain ting.

Dem do small party for my work and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go. And my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet!

Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear!

My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this? Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am!

Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come?

Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu pepper soup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow?
Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food ..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad...who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko!
Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf....for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me...her time don reach O!

Moreofa...she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem.
One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kain funny sef...dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot!
The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get......I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O!

Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef...I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron ....sey me I no get any yams for leg.

Mama me I no know O...but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money buy as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi. The same Tawa wey we dey call 'Samba' for fillage come dey look like sey I dey suffer am...her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am....her neck now big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like we dey do for fillage she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!!

For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry 'No Smoking' sign put for parlor! Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englis wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again ...how she go get job like she get for Naija for here?

Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me.....if to sey na Asake I carry come America E no go be like this..Asake no go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff....abeg reply in time before I commit O...

Na me,
your son
Kasali.

Slash and Burn!!!

ok, so the U.S. economy is bad and this is no secret. We all have seen the events of the past few weeks with the stock exchange and everything. We even heard that companies are cutting jobs all over, this is no time to be in the job market.



Anyways, my boss called a meeting today and broke the news to us...His last day with the company is December 5th. Shock was the look we all had on our faces as this guy who we have grown used to for the last year told us randomly that he was leaving...he was laid off. His position was scrapped was what they said. Dont mix this with being fired. Fired is termination for your wrong doing, but when your position is scrapped, that means you have been erased. WOW!! Just like that...he was given 2 weeks to get his shit together and get the stepping!! all the supervisors i know and report to were fired, about 20 of them in total.



Well, considering the development, we were expecting to be informed as to who we should report to next. Anyways, we expected that info on monday but i had to leave early, about 7pm. I get a call from my 50 year old (who i will gist you all about later) at about 9pm...



she is manages to get it out...

50 year old: InCog, guess what?

InCog: what?

50 year old: we all got fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (starts crying, she has been crying since before i called)

InCog: What?!!! stop playing girl!!

50 year old: i aint playing...our last day is December 20!! they called us into HR 2 at a time and gave us our lay-off papers. our whole department was scrapped!!!



anyways, the conversation goes on a while longer as my dear 50 year old laments to me about how she doesnt know what she is going to do now. She just got a big ass suburban truck, how in the hell is she going to pay for that in addition to her already huge bills? I sha put my preacher suit on and started 'encouraging her in the lord'. I think i did a pretty good job cos she stopped crying and started confessing positive along with me. She told me about how everybody else at work was a mess and i can imagine. There are single parents who have nothing to fall back on. there is a couple who both work for my company, both of them just got transferred here from florida 2 months ago and guess what!!! they both got their positions eliminated too. I really feel for my co-workers.



Good question, how do i have enough time to worry about all my co-workers and not about myself? i have not even spent a minute considering what evil just 'befell' me yea? how selfless am i, that i worry not about how my bills will get paid but stress out trying to figure out how my co-workers will survive their, our, predicament?!



Well, the bible says, (and dont ask me where in the bible, google it), the lines shall fall for me in good places or something like that. The whole idea is that everything will work together for my good!

ok, i was going to quit that job, i was at the point where i was contemplating, December 20 or 27, when do i quit? which is the exact reason why i had not put in my notice to quit. The lines fell for me in good places because apparently, we are all going to get a month extra of pay as severance package. Our last day is December 20 after which we get paid for another month. if i had put in a notice, i will lose out on the severance pay, but i have not put in any notice so officially, there is no talk of me quitting. Hence, i get to still 'quit' at the exact time i was contemplating, and still get paid for an extra month!!! Somebody shout halleluyah o!!! Amen!!!



I was unable to do any rejoicing of any sort, i had to spend all my time consoling those i spoke to and thinking of what kind of environment we are going to have on saturday when we go in cos, believe it or not, we still have to show up for work until that day. can you imagine that? Of course, some people don lost immediately they got their letters and talk say make nobody even follow them yarn any balls as per leaving early or coming late or not even coming at all!! lmao!!

i spoke with my friend who works with Unilever, he said the same thing has been happening across the board with them too. Its being called the Slash and Burn!! His boss had to fire 20% of the people in their California plant. can you imagine? Its funy how you hear about this stuff but it really does not become real for you until it hits home...and it just did for me!!

if this had happened any other time, i would have literarily died thinking of how my bills will get paid, and i do have huge bills. lol! things just really worked out so perfectly for me that instead of being at a loss, i get to stop working the exact time i wanted to and i even get a month's pay extra!!

My heart goes out to my co-workers that are now in limbo and dont have an idea what they are going to do to survive, pay bills and everything; and to all the hundreds of thousands of other american workers who have been or will be laid off. This too shall pass people, this too shall pass!!

anyways,

I got laid off today and i have no reason to be sad, i am truly blessed...truly!!

Where is InCog? Its a wrap!!!

Public Service Announcement: I am not in jail y'all. lmao!!

I actually did not do the costume. it was a concept, and from the responses i got, quite scary and effective. Since i dont want to be the halloween scape goat, that costume will never be worn by me. i fit wind person make im wear am tho, i go carry camcorder follow am. if wahala sele, i carry my camera and vamoose...next stop, youtube!!

Anyways, i am here oh, biting my nails waiting for the verdict...whether i move to mexico or not!
so far, the electoral votes are at 206-83 in favor of Obama. 270 is the magic number...its not over till its over.

oh btw, i nearly killed 2 guys on jixers last week...na small e remain make i add murder(unintentional) to my list of sins. sha God save dem idiots.

as you can tell, this is just a collection of gist i can remember while i wait till McCain starts to cry.

what else o.............

emmmmm

shit! nothing. Anyways, i really cant focus now cos my mind dey CNN. I will come back with a well out together post later. let me go and get ready to celebrate.

Barrizu Obizu is in the hizzu for shizu!! the white hizzu i mean!

brb...


update: a few Hours later...

e se, e se o, e se o, es e baba!

Obama Won!!

There was actually a bulletproof glass protecting him from crazies that might want to be stupid!!

this is just too emotional mehn...all i can think about is history, MLK, Harriet Tubman and dem...this is huge.

I have a story to tell my grandkids, i was there when the first and prolly the only black president of America was elected....i was there yo!!

And for once, McCain gave an eloquent speech ...i think its because he was not lying this time. lol!!

I saw the emotions of the older african american people, being from an HBCU background, i feel it too, and i am proud!!

This is huge, i should have gone to the fraternity election party my fraternity was throwing today...i just did not want to go and McCain ends up winning. I guess we all kind of had that omenous feeling despite our faith in the Change movement.

I am not even american but i live here and i am proud more than anything that this country has actually grown more than we could have ever thought.

Kenya is mad with excited frenzy...i can only imagine what would have happened if that boy was half Nigerian...it will be an entirely different story entirely.

But as we rejoice, it should also be a time of sombre reflection...the lives that paid for this, the blood that was shed for this...

I could go on...

God Bless America!!!

Be Afraid...Be Veeeery Afraid!!!

i am doing some major moving and i am doing it by myself so posting this blog in the middle of all that shows some serious multi tasking skills, especially when i am on a time crunch...4 hour countdown now to be out of here completely...

Anyways, today is halloween day and i just figured out my costume for tonight's parties...
it scares the crap outta pple, especially here in yankee, and when its a large group of people. i am sure pple will freak out bad, some will even call the cops just to be sure....
I am going as...


A SUICIDE BOMBER!!!!


i do realize that this might be a little 'kini' for some pple...no vex. I just figured if we are supposed to dress up as something and this is a 'scare-ful' day, it sucks that pple just see costumes and laugh these days...they should be scared, and i am sure that costume will do the trick with the help of like a hand held detonator that has a bright shiny red button so everybody can see it...and maybe a very loud explosion sound and some light effects everytime i push the button! im just saying *evil laugh*

I Wonder...

I have always had questions that might seem rather eccentric... they make me wonder...i try to figure it out...i fail to figure it out...i get a terrible headache....i laff at the fact that i even thought about the topic in the first place. Conclusion: issue still unsolved

I will broach each topic with you all and see if any one of you will be able to find a way to decipher them.

Todays topic: How does one become a witch/wizard

I know that the first thing to come to mind is "getting food from the neighbourhood witch". However, that is in the case where the witch considered you a candidate and decided to initiate you.

My question is for the individual who wants to be a witch or wizard. Where does one get an application form? is there an application form? or is there like a universal 'i want to become a witch' sign that you can throw to indicate your interest? I wonder.

i got an idea when i first thought about this issue at the age of 13/14. It goes like this;
Since we know that witches and wizards out the feet up against the wall when they sleep in other to be able to be teleported into the realm of witchcraft. Does sleeping with my feet up on the wall indicate my interest in taking this diabolical trip? will they come get me if i sleep like that?

I mean, its not like the neighbourhood witch puts a sign up to announce her craft. I would have said, one could just walk up to the person and ask for a recommendation to the coven of witches.

We do not have any of the likes of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where we can enrol to learn some abrakadabra stunts, we dont have any witchcraft stores where we can get either manual or motorized flying broomsticks.

SO...i need somebody to answer the question...HOW DOES ONE BECOME A WITCH/WIZARD?

N.B. I did cook that stew...i made a few mistakes, i can definitely do better. Baby steps y'all...baby steps. lmao! and thankfully, no fire.

Kitchen Trauma

I have been planning an event for about 2 months and its finally going to happen tomorrow night...i hope.

This event is...wait for it...the cooking of chicken stew. lmao!
I have been thinking about the day when i will cook the stew and i thought that the easiest way to go will be to use chicken.

I have always had issues with the kitchen. The way i was raised was such that when mumc was in the kitchen, we(my sister and i) had to be in her general vicinity for purposes of quick errands and stuff like that. God help you if she called you and you were not there and had no good excuse. we wouuld generally be walking around the kitchen (thankfully large enough for horse-play) sneaking dodo, pieces of meat or fish into our cheeks and competing to taste the stew for mumc, eager to recommend what spice was deficient or surplus.
My familiarity with the kitchen changed on the day i saw something i never until that day knew was possible....

Ok, this is how it happened...as usual, me and sis were goofing around in the kitchen and apparently, mumc was getting ready to cook stew. She had the oil sitting on the fire for apparently too long, it was smoking by now. I paid no attention since as far as i was concerened, mumc was the 'alpha and omega' of that kitchen and once she was in charge, nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately for me (because i am as far as i know, i am the only victim of that event) 'alpha and omega' just put the pepper in the oil still smoking hot and guess what...FIRE CAME OUT THE POT!!!!!!!

The metamorphosis from a playful, non-chalant incog to a frantic, scared-for-my-life incog is the stuff America's Funniest Home Videos are made of. I was on the floor, scared to death scampering for the door and screaming for daddy since apparently, 'alpha and omega' (mumc) just messed up and set the house on fire. Now that i think about it, it is just too hilarious that i did not think to save the 2 women in my life and just headed straight for survival alone. lol! I am sure mumc expected that fire but neglected to warn poor incog that she was about to make magic and create fire out of oil and pepper!

Anyway, moral lessons:
1. OIL+PEPPER = FIRE
2. The kitchen is not my friend
3. The door is the fastest getaway point in a kitchen

Based on those lessons, i decided that i will still stay AROUND when mumc is cooking but it will be AROUND THE DOOR. I will be posted up at the kitchen door either leading outside the building or into the main house but i had to be by the door and there was no moving me from there.

I was about 12 years old when this event took place and i have subconsciously conditioned myself to stay by the door anytime i wanted to stay with anybody in the kitchen. Several years later, i am still a kitchen bouncer...always by the door.

You can now see why my cooking chicken stew on my own for the first time is an event i had to psych myself up for for about 2 months.

I hope i can come back with good news as to how the event went.
I need to get instructions on what to buy and what to do before going in...i am on a mission...i am going to break the fear the kitchen holds over me...i say, enough is enough!!!

*whispering* "Cover me... I'm going in"