Kitchen Trauma

I have been planning an event for about 2 months and its finally going to happen tomorrow night...i hope.

This event is...wait for it...the cooking of chicken stew. lmao!
I have been thinking about the day when i will cook the stew and i thought that the easiest way to go will be to use chicken.

I have always had issues with the kitchen. The way i was raised was such that when mumc was in the kitchen, we(my sister and i) had to be in her general vicinity for purposes of quick errands and stuff like that. God help you if she called you and you were not there and had no good excuse. we wouuld generally be walking around the kitchen (thankfully large enough for horse-play) sneaking dodo, pieces of meat or fish into our cheeks and competing to taste the stew for mumc, eager to recommend what spice was deficient or surplus.
My familiarity with the kitchen changed on the day i saw something i never until that day knew was possible....

Ok, this is how it happened...as usual, me and sis were goofing around in the kitchen and apparently, mumc was getting ready to cook stew. She had the oil sitting on the fire for apparently too long, it was smoking by now. I paid no attention since as far as i was concerened, mumc was the 'alpha and omega' of that kitchen and once she was in charge, nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately for me (because i am as far as i know, i am the only victim of that event) 'alpha and omega' just put the pepper in the oil still smoking hot and guess what...FIRE CAME OUT THE POT!!!!!!!

The metamorphosis from a playful, non-chalant incog to a frantic, scared-for-my-life incog is the stuff America's Funniest Home Videos are made of. I was on the floor, scared to death scampering for the door and screaming for daddy since apparently, 'alpha and omega' (mumc) just messed up and set the house on fire. Now that i think about it, it is just too hilarious that i did not think to save the 2 women in my life and just headed straight for survival alone. lol! I am sure mumc expected that fire but neglected to warn poor incog that she was about to make magic and create fire out of oil and pepper!

Anyway, moral lessons:
1. OIL+PEPPER = FIRE
2. The kitchen is not my friend
3. The door is the fastest getaway point in a kitchen

Based on those lessons, i decided that i will still stay AROUND when mumc is cooking but it will be AROUND THE DOOR. I will be posted up at the kitchen door either leading outside the building or into the main house but i had to be by the door and there was no moving me from there.

I was about 12 years old when this event took place and i have subconsciously conditioned myself to stay by the door anytime i wanted to stay with anybody in the kitchen. Several years later, i am still a kitchen bouncer...always by the door.

You can now see why my cooking chicken stew on my own for the first time is an event i had to psych myself up for for about 2 months.

I hope i can come back with good news as to how the event went.
I need to get instructions on what to buy and what to do before going in...i am on a mission...i am going to break the fear the kitchen holds over me...i say, enough is enough!!!

*whispering* "Cover me... I'm going in"