tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69889395270085822802024-02-20T07:03:09.905-08:00Confessions of an innocent Naija BoyInCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-8515188751049908352010-01-26T19:48:00.000-08:002010-01-26T19:52:09.164-08:00No More Spam!!Quick Announcement Guys,<br />I am compelled to put a word verification on my blog for those who want to leave comments now because, as you might have noticed, these farts keep posting all kinds of retarded ish on my posts and prolly gets routed to some of your emails and fones. In other to Mitigate this, we will have to endure the word verification for a while. I apologize for any inconveniences this might cause you.<br />Mgt<br /><br />lmao!! i no get work o! but anyway sha, u guys get the pikshure.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-24228994783940783942010-01-06T16:55:00.001-08:002010-01-07T19:51:41.920-08:00First Week of 2010You wont believe the week i have had! lmao<br />I cant even do anything but laff. I believe tho, that this week is going to be the worst week im going to have this year IJN!<br /><br />So starting from Monday<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Monday 01/04/2010:</span><br />Driving to work, I get pulled over by Victoria Police. He saw my tag and because my tag was purple instead of brown, he could tell that my registration had expired... He was really nice to me tho. i even talked myself out of having to leave my car there on the side of the road (thats what normally happens, car gets towed). But i got a ticket. He said he would let me go (cos i asked him if he could) but his camera has recorded my car and so he has to "process me". i got a ticket for $564. Went to work, tried not to be upset about the ticket (considering it was my fault) and managed to have a good day sha.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Tuesday 01/05/2010:</span><br />Didnt drive to work cos i didnt want to risk another ticket since i hadn't renewed my rego. So i drove to the train station 5 mins from my house. No, i didnt get another ticket. lol! it was misty that morning so i had to drive with headlights on. Got to the station in peace, got on the train and everything was good, except the walk from the train station to my office; an uphill walk of about 30 mins, lol. Work was okay that day tho; While i was there, i realized i could renew my rego online so i decided to go on with that. I paid $612 to do that. At least now, i can carry on driving to work. Work day over at 6pm and i take the train back to work, after a 30 minute downhill walk back to the station. When i got back to the station by my house, guess what i found.....Yep! Battery dead, i left my headlights on!!! WTF!!! Started looking for a mechanic to jump it for me, and i found one after like 20 mins. Drove home to drop my computer so i could head out to do some groceries, i had no food at home. I found out MY BATTERY WAS STILL FLAT!! (mind you, this is a new battery, 1 month old). So here i am stuck at home with a dead car and no food or any way to get out. i call around and somebody was supposed to come by to help me out... 3 hrs after he promised, he was no where to be found, not heard from him till today!! lmao. Went to bed hungry.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Wednesday 01/06/2010:</span><br />Had to walk to the train station at my house this time so i had to wake up like an hour earlier than normal. And i found out on this day that a 5 min drive is about 30 minutes of walking. lol! My work day was okay tho, except for the part where my boss kept sending me on an endless chase for the perfect PPT presentation. By the time i got back home in the evening, i had done a total of 2 hours of walking and 2 hours of train ride. but my car is still dead, so i walk around again for like 1 hour to find a mechanic thats still open at 7pm...obviously, a futile effort! Meanwhile, the chinese i ordered, for which i was charged $2 for delivery didnt arrive until like an hour later. I didnt even have grace to be mad. I just left the car there again and ate, and slept, with a plan not to go to work the next day. the blisters on my feet were pulsating as i drifted to sleep.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Thursday 01/07/2010:</span><br />While i was sleeping, i changed my mind and decided to go to work in the morning. (yes i think while i sleep) so i woke up and headed to work, didnt even think about my worries today, just did my work like i was supposed to. I have officially let everything go. Day went smoothly except at the end when my computer swallowed all the shit i spent about 4 hours doing. That happened about closing time so i just left it to fix it in the morning when i get back. Got a ride from work to the train station, and then my train gets held up for 45 mins cos of some nit-wits fighting on the train!! i stay calm, get home, order chinese, eat, and sleep. Pretty good day. I did notice my room looking like a pig-sty tho, i left all the stuff from my xmas/new year trip all over and cudnt be bothered. lol! oh, and somebody promised to come help me out with the car so i could drive to work tmaw, but cudnt show up eventually. I WASNT disappointed.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Friday 01/08/2010:</span><br />Woke up at the time when i shudda been at work!!! and i still had to walk to the train station and things. Ended up getting to work at almost 10am, and these damned aussie flies stayed in my face all the day! Anyways, work day is over now and i am heading home...Today has been good since i got to work sha. I have no expectations so there will be no disappointments.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Anyways, like i said, This will be my worst week of 2010 In Jesus Name.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Sorry about the post being a long thing jare. i just wanted to talk. lol</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Im tweeting my blog now since everybody else is doing it, imma jump on the band wagon!</span>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-28283976129109812402010-01-03T18:20:00.000-08:002010-01-03T18:36:30.135-08:00Happy New Year, Happy New DecadeSo i have had a hurricane in my head for the better part of the end of 2009, I do not think i have been so emotionally conflicted ever, but i managed to pull thru. I had support tho, and i thank God for the pple that were of help. They know themselves. The December 2009 was the culmination of all the mess and even tho i took a holiday, i really didnt. (i was in a really hot place btw, so i just satisfied myself with a vampire lifestyle, home all day, out all night. This kind of heat is not the let-me-get-sexy kind of heat. its the step-out-and-die kind. lol)<br />Anyways, so i made it into 2010 without losing my mind, even tho i came so damn close and so i have decided, No More!<br />2010 is the year where i begin to blow up, and is the start of the decade where i have a major lifestyle change for the better. therefore, there will be no more unneccesary headaches or pains. My BALLS, i take them back. My LIFE, im gonna enjoy it. I have learnt a few lessons and i wont be beaten d 3rd time. So, im directing all my energy into fruitful things like my MBA, career and a fucking settled future. No more ephemeral shit, no more trivialities, sentiments only get in your way guys, chuk it in d bin.<br />I wud suggest to others who might be having a hard time out there, i feel you and i think you shud just make a very very conscious decision to get out of the rut and get happy. Just do it.<br />Life is too short to spend time worrying and hurting over wishes. Action is the way to get ur realistic wishes.<br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I am really glad that i still have this medium, even tho i know i dont update very often. And i have to thank @<a href="http://www.solomonsydelle.com/">solomonsydelle</a>. she has been faithful on my blog even tho i have been less than reliable. Much love Mama Bomboy! lol</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">And to those retards advertising viagra and businesses on my posts as comments, i sincerely hope you die slow! real, real slow.</span><br />If by any slim chance, i get any new readers, thanks for coming out (in my mind now, this is my rant concert, lol) Stick around and I might show up with some real nice Melbourne/Australian Outback gist for ya!<br />see ya, cash ya, larra!!!<br />oh btw, im on twitter o <a href="http://www.twitter.com/incognaija">www.twitter.com/incognaija</a>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-38436647227424598622009-10-29T03:22:00.000-07:002009-10-29T03:25:40.243-07:00Fork It!!Just as i thot i knew what i was dealing with, i see a new thing, a new facet of shit that faces me.<br />my head feels like a million hammers are banging inside it...my mind is racing with thots. Who said i dont analyze? lol<br />fork it!!!<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-80347326651524080782009-08-12T06:45:00.001-07:002009-08-12T06:59:24.698-07:00How Easily We ForgetI stumbled on emails from 2003 and decided to browse through my life story as told by my emails... It is amazing how my life has gone from one place to the other and then the next.<br />I saw emails that made me smile, frown, think, wish, remember...I am telling you, a lot can be learned for the future if we look back.<br />I saw how i changed, how other people in my life changed, how people came and left, what kinds of ass-holes i met and the nice and awesome pple that came thru as well.<br />I even saw an email where i was telling smbdy how a friend had called me from naija to ask for money and i said i was broke; he asked me "Why are you always broke?" lmao! imagine the retard...funny times.<br />I saw love notes, fight notes, funny gists, emails for no reasons (like while we talking on the phone), emails to plan trips...<br />I saw how politically active i was at a time on campus, i saw emails of classmates sending me homeworks and labs cos i was too lazy to do them myself, lol! I saw emails to my profs lying abt shit to get out of work i was supposed to do...I was such a nuisance in undergrad!! lmao<br />I saw a few praise-worthy deeds, a few misdeeds...<br />I have always known that life is not perfect, but i just got a good reminder that my life is certainly not perfect.<br />Through everything tho, i am still here, 6 years later, Many changes later, Still Standing...<br />God gets the credit for that.<br /><br />I know i havent been here in a while, you guys dont know the half of whats been going on...I will gist you all in folds, its a very long thing, actually, a bunch of long things.<br />I will tell you one of the bigger ones tho, I moved from America to Australia...Yes i now live in the city of Melbourne...More coming up.<br /><br />Good to be back...will begin my rounds on ur blogs in a bit...see ya there. lol<br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-68921040897030814402009-04-25T12:47:00.001-07:002009-04-25T22:45:20.694-07:00Pollywood: The next big thing...Has anybody here heard about Sade OSU? Apparently, thats what she is now popularly known as.<br />Well, for those who dont know, lemme introduce you to the star of the very first Nigerian porn flick i ever saw. Yes, it was the first cos i saw another one right after it.<br />Anyways, so Sade OSU is this "sexually liberated" OSU student who took on a couple of guys in a battle of the Gonads, and had it documented and circulated.<br />The second one was apparently a Unilag babe who looked drugged and in my opinion, did not even know she was starring in a movie. I think the Lag ones got in trouble but lets go back to the OSU one.<br />My opinion is that if they wanted to make a flick like that, they should have made it well, setting, make-up and all. They just were so random about it, unorganized, the girl who was supposedly taking a shower decided to wash her ass on camera too so that soap wont enter her 'naughty place' during the act! that was just nasty. we did not need to see that. The guys were loud in the background and it took them a while to figure out what positions they wanted to do, mostly because i think the girl was high. She was not able to follow thru with anything...<br />I have to say tho, that she did have pretty awesone knockers...thats pretty much all i can say about our very own Sade OSU. She wasnt much to look at, so me i just focused on dem knockers which she spent a considerable amount of the time 'washing'. I really cant say much about the boys whose faces were conveniently excluded from the video.<br />I have not been in Naija for a while but i keep hearing about how my country has changed and is changing for the better. This is the latest one of the changes for the better. We now have a budding porn industry. wetin we go call that one naa, Pollywood? next thing we know, they start making the porn movies at the same rate as Nollywood (a movie is shot in a day and sometimes 2 movies concurrently!) and like Nollywood, Pollywood becomes the second largest porn movie industry after Hollywood! i swear, we r doing big things in Naija mehn. lol! i am so proud. I think i should invest in Pollywood now like Fred Amata and dem did in Nollywood so i can become a bigs boys too o.<br />Anyways, me i dont knock Sade OSU like some people are doing. I think she is only doing what she likes to do. Nobody can blame her or judge her so please LEAVE SADE OSU ALONE!!! lol<br />I was just thinking, what if she is a blogger? what if she is a blogger we all know and love? well then she will prolly read this and i am saying Kudos to you girl. Keep doing ur thing jare. you don discover ur own ministry, who are we to say otherwise?<br />As for the loser(s) who drug girls and tape them, or secretly tape girls while they r having sex with them, YOU ARE SOME NEVER-DO-WELL Losers. Fuck you.<br />For girls who are looking into a career in Pollywood, u might wanna holla at me cos i will be one of the behind the scene investors. i can sure get u a spot. and if u r a Nollywood drop-out also, u have a chance with us here at Pollywood.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-48512600342580052002009-03-11T00:53:00.000-07:002009-03-13T00:44:09.907-07:00Random Issues (running out of titles pple)Did you know that Lagos is one of the most expensive cities in the World? It is ranked 30th far above Los Angeles in the 55th position, just ridiculous!! And considering that LA is more expensive than most places in Yankee, its even more ridiculous. Las Gidi, our very own Eko Ile has become Africa's version of Upper Eastside NY!!<br />I have been shopping for hotel accommodation in Naija for a while now, hotels on the island actually; most hotels in the area average about $300 a night and above, even the crappy ones!! Thats just retarded. i would have never thot they cost that much... on top wetin? I have stayed in Las Vegas for a week for less or a little more than that, and NO! it was not hotel jangozo. lol! it was a good hotel on the strip sef.<br /><br />Anyways, i have 2 options<br /> - We can pass the offering basket around blogville so you all can donate and we can make this happen, a trust fund of sorts. I know Smaragd (my new blogboo) just got a new job so she can jump this off.<br /> - If you have any information on better rates, holla at me.<br /><br />in recent news...<br /><br />The pastor of a church in Illinois was shot to death in the middle of service in front of his church members on sunday, can you imagine that? i mean, what will i do if my pastor was in the middle of a sermon...and then gunshots and pastor is down and out? It reminds me of a story i heard from my Uncle. They got robbed in church during a night vigil; the thieves said that if they had been paying their tithes, they wont be here! and when the robbers asked for the pastor, Omo, pastor denied in front of the whole congregation!! lmao!! if na you nko? My own question is "where are we safe now?" if we can get got in the house of God, where can we run to? if only one of these pastors will call down fire on these fools that disrespect the house of God... MSCHEW!!!<br /><br />on a lighter note, I heard these 'yo momma' jokes, i just had to share..<br /><br />1. Yo momma so old, they told her to act her age, so she died!!<br /><br />2. Yo momma so fat, her driver's license says "picture continued on the other side"!!<br /><br />3. Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everybody!!<br /><br />4. Yo momma so ugly, when she was born her mother said "what a treasure!!" and her father said "yes, lets go bury it!"<br /><br />5. Yo momma so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared!!<br /><br />6. Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1!<br /><br />7. Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!!<br /><br />ok, i need to stop. if you have any good ones, lets see 'em.<br /><br />You guys, dont forget o, i need hookups on hotel info in naija that wont cost me my whole year's salary...that or a you could just write me a check.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-59757397067875052932009-03-05T21:40:00.000-08:002009-03-05T22:36:28.456-08:00No Matter WhatI ain't dead, I ain't done<br />I ain't scared, I ain't run<br />But still I stand<br />No matter what pimpin here I am<br />No matter What<br />Remember I ain't break, I ain't fold<br />They hate me more<br />Yeah I know, Here I go<br />No matter what shawty, here I go<br />No matter what shawty<br /> -T.I<br /><br /><br />I would say that's the story of my year so far... T.I. took those words right out of my mouth, lol.<br /><br />'09 has been a crazy year for me; hit me like a truck, 18 wheeler! I had completely different pictures of what '09 will look like for me, but guess what... Somebody else had the camera and the pictures were different by eons.<br /><br />I don't think things have ever gone as contrary to my plans as this year, but i think i get it now, time and a lot thinking seem to have delivered the message God was sending...NEW FOCAL POINT.<br /><br />It is amazing how we always say "Man proposes but God disposes", but when God actually disposes, we get all bent out of shape. I am getting my own one-on-one lessons on 'Letting go and letting God deal with it', and to think i always said i liked change; the truth is that we like change when it suits our purposes, mostly selfish purposes. Anyhoos, i think i need to round this part of the post up.<br /><br />What has InCog been up to? Well, i will do a quick run down of what my life has been like since jan 1st 2009.<br /><br />First Sunday of the year saw me doing a 20 hour drive from my bustling, lively city and state of 5 years to a quiet, small, torpid country-ass skool town in the Midwest. 20 hours of straight driving through the night crossing 8 state lines...what a way to start the year right? My innocent kalista (my car, yes i named her. actually, a friend named her. lol) didn't find it funny at all even though she rose to the occasion and conquered every last 2000 miles of that trip and then some.<br />So new city and state, lonely, i jumped into the business of getting my ejumakation... i hate skool, lets not talk about it yet, don't want to foul my mood. lol<br /><br />I became a cook all of a sudden, i guess being in a house alone for hours on end make you do somethings you would prolly never do. Refer to <a href="http://incognaija.blogspot.com/2008/10/kitchen-trauma.html">Kitchen trauma</a> for my cooking history. With the help of Awesome friends, i have succeeded in making Stew a couple of times, Jollof Rice (of which, the first attempt was a total fuckery...trashed a whole big ass pot of nonsense i called jollof), baked chicken...next endeavor now is efo and YES I CAN!<br />i even passed out in the kitchen one day like that after a day of cooking sitting down and shayo-ing. I woke up 3am and found myself laid out across the kitchen counter, lmao! such is my love for the food factory now.<br />visited 4 new states since i got to this new place, i always left town on weekends so i don't get to feel sad and lonely. that's how i coped, i am fine now. i don't do that anymore, even tho i am writing this from my old city and state. yes, i ran back there...again. 2nd time so far, and i think i will be back in 2 weeks. i love this place, even though i spent fucking 3+ hours in traffic today just for a few minutes of actual business!<br /><br />I did not want this post to be this long but seeing as i am trying to catch up for 2+ months of activities, i think i am doing a good job. will try to round up shortly sha.<br /><br />Met the naija people in my new place...i NEEEED to gist you guys about them mehn...seriously, remind me. They r a trip! Some of them r really cool tho, i found out.<br /><br />erm, what else? oh, of note is the fact that i apparently make faces when i am proper drunk. lmao! Thats what they told me sha, that i make funny faces... also, gist for later. remind me. hehe<br /><br />Well, i am beginning to feel bad about the length of this thing so i will stop sha.<br /><br />i aint gone nowhere, i am still here y'all.<br /><br />STILL I STAND!!!InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-47748657326937943652009-02-02T12:53:00.000-08:002009-02-02T15:30:08.631-08:00HomeWork...thanks Sola!<span style="color:#000000;">I got tagged by <a href="http://journalofavirgin.blogspot.com/">Sola</a>... supposedly as a thank you gift for being a part of the welcoming team.</span><br />I will sha do it sha...<br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Where's ur cell phone?</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Looking at me from beside my laptop, wondering why i am not paying it so much attention. lol</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Where's ur significant other?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Wish i could tell you *sob*<br /><strong>Your hair colour?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I am guessing black...</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your mother?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Most awesomest...Love her to bits.<br /><strong>Your father?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Really Awesome dude...Love him!<br /><strong>Your favorite things:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">My wheels, My Blackberry...dont know what i will do without my BB</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your dream last night?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Something about getting back what i lost... </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your dream goal?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Owning my systems design company and getting it traded on the stock exchange.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>The room you're in?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Living Room...in the middle of the day, feeling like a bum!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your hobby?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Music, Travelling...</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>where u wanna be in six years?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Career balling with my brand new family by my side...see me for details</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Where were you last night?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Watching the superbowl...Of course my boys won! Steeler Nation Holla!!!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>What you're not?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I am not responsible for that pregnancy!!! lmao!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>One of your wish list items:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">A house.<br /><strong>Where you grew up?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Ondo town, Ondo State, Nigeria!!!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Last thing you did?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Ate noodles...i do that a lot these days...eat! (fyi: i no fat, trying to gain weight to no avail. lol)<br /><strong>What are you wearing?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">White t-shirt, black hoodie and jeans houseboy knickers. </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your pet:</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Have not had any recently. I had ferrets for a while tho. Cant wait to get my roc tho. </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your computer?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Has been my best friend for the past few weeks.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your mood:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Quite ok now cos i have good company</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your car?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Is prolly my most prized possession right now....urm, yup! </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Something you're not wearing?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Shoes.<br /><strong>Favorite store?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Any Dollar Store.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your summer?</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Have had awesome summers so far...this one is going to be different for me cos its going to be my first summer alone. Wish me luck.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Love someone?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">hmmm, long story... I love my family and friends tho</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Your favorite colour?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Royal Blue.<br /><strong>Last time you laughed?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Last Night</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Last time you cried?</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">if u had asked me this question yesterday morning, i would have said 3 years ago at grand popc's funeral...but asking me this today, i will say yesterday, a bug flew into my eye.</span> lol!<br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Are you a bitch?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I certainly hope not. lol!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Favorite pastime:</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Music</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Hater or lover:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I like to think i am a lover...i can hate pretty intensely too. lol</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Genuine or fake:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">I think i am genuine. never been called fake before so it stands at Genuine.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Any vices?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Procastination maybe, vain sometimes maybe. or maybe i am just perfect. lol<br /><strong>Pro life or wire hanger:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Its a matter of choice and circumstances...explanation will take a whole post.</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Mccain or Obama:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Mc what? Barrizu Obizzu all day long!!<br /><strong>Pro-plastic or natural:</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">natural is always better but plastic has a way of just appealing to your senses from afar. lmao!!</span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>Dream job?</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">Where the big bucks roll in... </span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#000000;">This thing was like homework or like a project and i will like to pick my project partners...<a href="http://cogitations-on-the-web.blogspot.com/">NaijaBabe</a>, <a href="http://thehola.blogspot.com/">Smaragd</a>, <a href="http://phoenixhoney.blogspot.com/">Honeywell</a>, <a href="http://theicequeensrandomnaijablog.blogspot.com/">Icequeen</a>, <a href="http://funms-funms.blogspot.com/">Funms</a> and <a href="http://nigeriandramaqueen.blogspot.com/">NDQ</a>....if u heard ur name, please shout present, raise ur hand and come forward.</span>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-8865564774085663332009-01-16T15:22:00.000-08:002009-01-16T15:36:32.923-08:00tawakalitu don shenj -leta from amerikaGuys, i know i been away for quite some time. e get plenty plenty things wey dey shele wey dey ok, and e get some wey no suppose dey shele, but the remote control still dey Baba God hand. I dey kampe. lmao.<br /><br />I been doing a lot of travelling lately and so i will use that as my excuse for not being around blogville that much...not the kinds of travelling i would have wanted this Xmas time but trips still. Anyways, so thats my story and i am sticking to it!!!<br /><br />So i found this letter somewhere, i dont even remember where but i just had to share it wif u guys. i think i tweaked it here and there, lets hope i did not fk it up yet. lol<br /><br />Here it goes:<br /><br /><br />My Dia Moda,<br /><br />How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage.<br />Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no good o!<br /><br />I know sey you don spend plenty money on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am.<br />Effa since she enta house na so so wahala and complain. She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.<br /><br />The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh....me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kain play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kain ting.<br /><br />Dem do small party for my work and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go. And my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet!<br /><br />Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear!<br /><br />My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this? Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am!<br /><br />Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come?<br /><br />Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu pepper soup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow?<br />Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food ..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad...who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko!<br />Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf....for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me...her time don reach O!<br /><br />Moreofa...she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem.<br />One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kain funny sef...dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot!<br />The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get......I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O!<br /><br />Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef...I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron ....sey me I no get any yams for leg.<br /><br />Mama me I no know O...but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money buy as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi. The same Tawa wey we dey call 'Samba' for fillage come dey look like sey I dey suffer am...her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am....her neck now big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like we dey do for fillage she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!!<br /><br />For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry 'No Smoking' sign put for parlor! Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englis wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again ...how she go get job like she get for Naija for here?<br /><br />Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me.....if to sey na Asake I carry come America E no go be like this..Asake no go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff....abeg reply in time before I commit O...<br /><br />Na me,<br />your son<br />Kasali.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-37893045688419321502008-11-20T21:48:00.000-08:002008-11-20T23:01:11.097-08:00Slash and Burn!!!ok, so the U.S. economy is bad and this is no secret. We all have seen the events of the past few weeks with the stock exchange and everything. We even heard that companies are cutting jobs all over, this is no time to be in the job market.<br /><br /><br /><br />Anyways, my boss called a meeting today and broke the news to us...His last day with the company is December 5th. Shock was the look we all had on our faces as this guy who we have grown used to for the last year told us randomly that he was leaving...he was laid off. His position was scrapped was what they said. Dont mix this with being fired. Fired is termination for your wrong doing, but when your position is scrapped, that means you have been erased. WOW!! Just like that...he was given 2 weeks to get his shit together and get the stepping!! all the supervisors i know and report to were fired, about 20 of them in total.<br /><br /><br /><br />Well, considering the development, we were expecting to be informed as to who we should report to next. Anyways, we expected that info on monday but i had to leave early, about 7pm. I get a call from my 50 year old (who i will gist you all about later) at about 9pm...<br /><br /><br /><br />she is manages to get it out...<br /><br /><strong>50 year old</strong>: InCog, guess what?<br /><br /><strong>InCog</strong>: what?<br /><br /><strong>50 year old</strong>: we all got fired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (starts crying, she has been crying since before i called)<br /><br /><strong>InCog</strong>: What?!!! stop playing girl!!<br /><br /><strong>50 year old</strong>: i aint playing...our last day is December 20!! they called us into HR 2 at a time and gave us our lay-off papers. our whole department was scrapped!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />anyways, the conversation goes on a while longer as my dear 50 year old laments to me about how she doesnt know what she is going to do now. She just got a big ass suburban truck, how in the hell is she going to pay for that in addition to her already huge bills? I sha put my preacher suit on and started 'encouraging her in the lord'. I think i did a pretty good job cos she stopped crying and started confessing positive along with me. She told me about how everybody else at work was a mess and i can imagine. There are single parents who have nothing to fall back on. there is a couple who both work for my company, both of them just got transferred here from florida 2 months ago and guess what!!! they both got their positions eliminated too. I really feel for my co-workers.<br /><br /><br /><br />Good question, how do i have enough time to worry about all my co-workers and not about myself? i have not even spent a minute considering what evil just 'befell' me yea? how selfless am i, that i worry not about how my bills will get paid but stress out trying to figure out how my co-workers will survive their, our, predicament?!<br /><br /><br /><br />Well, the bible says, (and dont ask me where in the bible, google it), the lines shall fall for me in good places or something like that. The whole idea is that everything will work together for my good!<br /><br />ok, i was going to quit that job, i was at the point where i was contemplating, December 20 or 27, when do i quit? which is the exact reason why i had not put in my notice to quit. The lines fell for me in good places because apparently, we are all going to get a month extra of pay as severance package. Our last day is December 20 after which we get paid for another month. if i had put in a notice, i will lose out on the severance pay, but i have not put in any notice so officially, there is no talk of me quitting. Hence, i get to still 'quit' at the exact time i was contemplating, and still get paid for an extra month!!! Somebody shout halleluyah o!!! Amen!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />I was unable to do any rejoicing of any sort, i had to spend all my time consoling those i spoke to and thinking of what kind of environment we are going to have on saturday when we go in cos, believe it or not, we still have to show up for work until that day. can you imagine that? Of course, some people don lost immediately they got their letters and talk say make nobody even follow them yarn any balls as per leaving early or coming late or not even coming at all!! lmao!!<br /><br />i spoke with my friend who works with Unilever, he said the same thing has been happening across the board with them too. Its being called the Slash and Burn!! His boss had to fire 20% of the people in their California plant. can you imagine? Its funy how you hear about this stuff but it really does not become real for you until it hits home...and it just did for me!!<br /><br />if this had happened any other time, i would have literarily died thinking of how my bills will get paid, and i do have huge bills. lol! things just really worked out so perfectly for me that instead of being at a loss, i get to stop working the exact time i wanted to and i even get a month's pay extra!!<br /><br />My heart goes out to my co-workers that are now in limbo and dont have an idea what they are going to do to survive, pay bills and everything; and to all the hundreds of thousands of other american workers who have been or will be laid off. This too shall pass people, this too shall pass!!<br /><br />anyways,<br /><br />I got laid off today and i have no reason to be sad, i am <em><strong>truly blessed...truly!!</strong></em>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-31328114895629768682008-11-04T19:01:00.000-08:002008-11-04T21:16:54.997-08:00Where is InCog? Its a wrap!!!Public Service Announcement: I am not in jail y'all. lmao!!<br /><br />I actually did not do the costume. it was a concept, and from the responses i got, quite scary and effective. Since i dont want to be the halloween scape goat, that costume will never be worn by me. i fit wind person make im wear am tho, i go carry camcorder follow am. if wahala sele, i carry my camera and vamoose...next stop, youtube!!<br /><br />Anyways, i am here oh, biting my nails waiting for the verdict...whether i move to mexico or not!<br />so far, the electoral votes are at 206-83 in favor of Obama. 270 is the magic number...its not over till its over.<br /><br />oh btw, i nearly killed 2 guys on jixers last week...na small e remain make i add murder(unintentional) to my list of sins. sha God save dem idiots.<br /><br />as you can tell, this is just a collection of gist i can remember while i wait till McCain starts to cry.<br /><br />what else o.............<br /><br />emmmmm<br /><br />shit! nothing. Anyways, i really cant focus now cos my mind dey CNN. I will come back with a well out together post later. let me go and get ready to celebrate.<br /><br />Barrizu Obizu is in the hizzu for shizu!! the white hizzu i mean!<br /><br />brb...<br /><br /><br />update: a few Hours later...<br /><br />e se, e se o, e se o, es e baba!<br /><br />Obama Won!!<br /><br />There was actually a bulletproof glass protecting him from crazies that might want to be stupid!!<br /><br />this is just too emotional mehn...all i can think about is history, MLK, Harriet Tubman and dem...this is huge.<br /><br />I have a story to tell my grandkids, i was there when the first and prolly the only black president of America was elected....i was there yo!!<br /><br />And for once, McCain gave an eloquent speech ...i think its because he was not lying this time. lol!!<br /><br />I saw the emotions of the older african american people, being from an HBCU background, i feel it too, and i am proud!!<br /><br />This is huge, i should have gone to the fraternity election party my fraternity was throwing today...i just did not want to go and McCain ends up winning. I guess we all kind of had that omenous feeling despite our faith in the Change movement.<br /><br />I am not even american but i live here and i am proud more than anything that this country has actually grown more than we could have ever thought.<br /><br />Kenya is mad with excited frenzy...i can only imagine what would have happened if that boy was half Nigerian...it will be an entirely different story entirely.<br /><br />But as we rejoice, it should also be a time of sombre reflection...the lives that paid for this, the blood that was shed for this...<br /><br />I could go on...<br /><br />God Bless America!!!InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-29454044720886511612008-10-31T17:25:00.000-07:002008-10-31T17:38:02.833-07:00Be Afraid...Be Veeeery Afraid!!!i am doing some major moving and i am doing it by myself so posting this blog in the middle of all that shows some serious multi tasking skills, especially when i am on a time crunch...4 hour countdown now to be out of here completely...<br /><br />Anyways, today is halloween day and i just figured out my costume for tonight's parties...<br />it scares the crap outta pple, especially here in yankee, and when its a large group of people. i am sure pple will freak out bad, some will even call the cops just to be sure....<br />I am going as...<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">A SUICIDE BOMBER!!!!</span><br /><br /><br />i do realize that this might be a little 'kini' for some pple...no vex. I just figured if we are supposed to dress up as something and this is a 'scare-ful' day, it sucks that pple just see costumes and laugh these days...they should be scared, and i am sure that costume will do the trick with the help of like a hand held detonator that has a bright shiny red button so everybody can see it...and maybe a very loud explosion sound and some light effects everytime i push the button! im just saying *evil laugh*InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-4596333446980243112008-10-23T19:25:00.001-07:002008-10-23T19:51:24.093-07:00I Wonder...I have always had questions that might seem rather eccentric... they make me wonder...i try to figure it out...i fail to figure it out...i get a terrible headache....i laff at the fact that i even thought about the topic in the first place. Conclusion: <strong>issue still unsolved</strong><br /><br />I will broach each topic with you all and see if any one of you will be able to find a way to decipher them.<br /><br />Todays topic: <strong>How does one become a witch/wizard</strong><br /><br />I know that the first thing to come to mind is "getting food from the neighbourhood witch". However, that is in the case where the witch considered you a candidate and decided to initiate you.<br /><br />My question is for the individual who wants to be a witch or wizard. Where does one get an application form? is there an application form? or is there like a universal 'i want to become a witch' sign that you can throw to indicate your interest? I wonder.<br /><br />i got an idea when i first thought about this issue at the age of 13/14. It goes like this;<br />Since we know that witches and wizards out the feet up against the wall when they sleep in other to be able to be teleported into the realm of witchcraft. Does sleeping with my feet up on the wall indicate my interest in taking this diabolical trip? will they come get me if i sleep like that?<br /><br />I mean, its not like the neighbourhood witch puts a sign up to announce her craft. I would have said, one could just walk up to the person and ask for a recommendation to the coven of witches.<br /><br />We do not have any of the likes of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogwarts">Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry</a> where we can enrol to learn some abrakadabra stunts, we dont have any witchcraft stores where we can get either manual or motorized flying broomsticks.<br /><br />SO...i need somebody to answer the question...HOW DOES ONE BECOME A WITCH/WIZARD?<br /><br />N.B. I did cook that stew...i made a few mistakes, i can definitely do better. Baby steps y'all...baby steps. lmao! and thankfully, no fire.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-78033132421762212842008-10-15T19:49:00.000-07:002008-10-15T20:32:47.950-07:00Kitchen TraumaI have been planning an event for about 2 months and its finally going to happen tomorrow night...i hope.<br /><br />This event is...wait for it...the cooking of chicken stew. lmao!<br />I have been thinking about the day when i will cook the stew and i thought that the easiest way to go will be to use chicken.<br /><br />I have always had issues with the kitchen. The way i was raised was such that when mumc was in the kitchen, we(my sister and i) had to be in her general vicinity for purposes of quick errands and stuff like that. God help you if she called you and you were not there and had no good excuse. we wouuld generally be walking around the kitchen (thankfully large enough for horse-play) sneaking dodo, pieces of meat or fish into our cheeks and competing to taste the stew for mumc, eager to recommend what spice was deficient or surplus.<br />My familiarity with the kitchen changed on the day i saw something i never until that day knew was possible....<br /><br />Ok, this is how it happened...as usual, me and sis were goofing around in the kitchen and apparently, mumc was getting ready to cook stew. She had the oil sitting on the fire for apparently too long, it was smoking by now. I paid no attention since as far as i was concerened, mumc was the 'alpha and omega' of that kitchen and once she was in charge, nothing could go wrong. Unfortunately for me (because i am as far as i know, i am the only victim of that event) 'alpha and omega' just put the pepper in the oil still smoking hot and guess what...FIRE CAME OUT THE POT!!!!!!!<br /><br />The metamorphosis from a playful, non-chalant incog to a frantic, scared-for-my-life incog is the stuff America's Funniest Home Videos are made of. I was on the floor, scared to death scampering for the door and screaming for daddy since apparently, 'alpha and omega' (mumc) just messed up and set the house on fire. Now that i think about it, it is just too hilarious that i did not think to save the 2 women in my life and just headed straight for survival alone. lol! I am sure mumc expected that fire but neglected to warn poor incog that she was about to make magic and create fire out of oil and pepper!<br /><br />Anyway, moral lessons:<br /> 1. OIL+PEPPER = FIRE<br /> 2. The kitchen is not my friend<br /> 3. The door is the fastest getaway point in a kitchen<br /><br />Based on those lessons, i decided that i will still stay AROUND when mumc is cooking but it will be AROUND THE DOOR. I will be posted up at the kitchen door either leading outside the building or into the main house but i had to be by the door and there was no moving me from there.<br /><br />I was about 12 years old when this event took place and i have subconsciously conditioned myself to stay by the door anytime i wanted to stay with anybody in the kitchen. Several years later, i am still a kitchen bouncer...always by the door.<br /><br />You can now see why my cooking chicken stew on my own for the first time is an event i had to psych myself up for for about 2 months.<br /><br />I hope i can come back with good news as to how the event went.<br />I need to get instructions on what to buy and what to do before going in...i am on a mission...i am going to break the fear the kitchen holds over me...i say, enough is enough!!!<br /><br />*whispering* "Cover me... I'm going in"InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-6190031789028305622008-09-27T19:16:00.000-07:002008-09-27T19:34:05.386-07:00CrackBerryI started having some major bad pain around the base of my left thumb a few months ago, around the beginning of the summer...it was really bad. GF said that it was prolly because of my recent exertion on my hands at the gym with the lifting and everything...so much for gyming up to the 300 status. Anyways, i stopped and the pain left...for a while.<br />It resurfaced 3 days ago and it was so mad that i could not even pick up a book with my left hand. I was sha, managing my hand up and down sha.<br />today, i found out that i have tendonitis...this strain is actually called the <strong>'texting tendonitis'</strong>! can you imagine? i have actually read a news article about it before. they were talking about blackberry addictions (which i already have, dont know what i will do without my BB), and texting problems. I just was like whatever.<br />On my BlackBerry, i text, yahoo messenger chat, email, BB messenger chat, facebook chat, facebook message, write on facebook walls and send texts and shit. I pride myself in been able to type an email just as fast on my phone as anybody else anywhere. Needless to say, i am almost always typing something...Alas, TEXTING TENDONITIS?!! OMG!!<br /><br />Guess what? i have still been texting and doing all the other blackberry shinanigans all day today, even after i found out about my 'condition' lol! Talk about addiction...CrackBerry!!InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-18039952209740608472008-09-24T01:35:00.001-07:002008-09-24T01:42:09.709-07:00I'm Back!!Actually i have been invisible, not totally absent.<br />I have been checking up on your blogs pretty regularly. The only problem is that i never left comments because the asses at the IT dept at my job blocked my access to that. But i have definitely been half around, getting my share of laffs, concern, and everything else that comes with your blogs.<br />Now, i am back...i swear, i am.<br />oya, <a href="http://sovachiva.blogspot.com/">allyurz</a>, you said that you will be back when i get back...my journies have ended and i am back...joyfully announcing "Honey, i'm Hooooome!!!"InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-69951271845793555562008-06-06T18:48:00.000-07:002008-06-06T19:12:31.889-07:00Sad Story...This is a real story of a young exUnilag girl whopassed away last month. Her name was Lola. She was hit by a train atOyingbo on her way to work at Apapa. She was working at the MTN call center. She had a boyfriend named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to Abuja.Both of them are true lovers even distance could notseparate them. They were always talking on the phone. You could never see her without her Cell phone.In fact she also changed Emeka's SIM from Celtelto MTN, so both of them can be on the same network, andsave on the cost of calls. She spends half of the day and most nights talking with Emeka because she gets free calls. Lola's family knows about theirrelationship. Emeka is very close with Lola's family in spite of the tribal differences. (just imagine their love). Before she passed away at LUTH she toldher friends 'If I pass away please bury me with my Cellphone' shealso said the same thing to her parents. After her death at LUTH, the attendants couldn't carry her bodyto the mortuary.A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't. They called more people and everybody tried to carry thebody, the result was still the same. Eventually, they called a person who knew one of her priests in church who had the gift of communicating with the dead. He sprinkled some salt and water on the body and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told him about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He asked them to bring a coffin, then he opened it and placed her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body.It could now be moved and they carried it away easily.Everyone was shocked and sad; they were so shocked that Lola's parents did not inform Emeka that Lola had passed away and buried her quickly because of all the unusual circumstances.After 2 weeks Emeka called Lola's mom..... Emeka:....'Aunty, I'm coming to the house today, it is Lola's birthday please I hope you will cook something nice for me. Don't tell Lola that I'm coming to Lagos today, I want to surprise her.' Her mother replied.....'OK You come to Lagos first, I want to tell you something very important.' After he came, they told him the truth about Lola. Emeka though that they we replaying an April fool's joke. He was laughing and said'don't try to fool me - tell Lola to come out, I have a Birthday gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'.Then they showed the original death certificate tohim.They also gave him other proof to make him believe.(Emeka started to sweat) He said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Emeka was shaking. Suddenly, Emeka's phone rang. 'he said, see this is from Lola, see this....' he showed the phone to Lola's family. All of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines,no humming. It was the actual voice of Lola & there was no way others could use her staff sim card since it is nailed inside the casket before she was hurriedly buried. They were so shocked and asked for the same priest (who can speak with the souls of the dead) again. This time he brought his Bishop along to help solve this matter. He & his Bishop worked for 5 hours.Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them...<br /><br />Scroll down....<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />Keep scrolling...<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />.<br /><br />MTN still has the best coverage!'MTN Everywhere you go' is true!! Where ever you go, MTN follows!!!InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-58204032751245252802008-06-05T21:13:00.001-07:002008-06-05T21:19:32.418-07:00Help Me and Beg o!!!Everybody in Blogsville help me o!<br /><br />I have been kicked out...<br /><br />LOL! look at haters thinking<br /><br />"ha! he got kicked out of ___________. God don catch am!!"<br />(fill that space with whatever was in your mind, and put it in your comments)<br /><br />But really, i got kicked out and i feel very bad<br /><br />Rejected and Dejected<br /><br />i got kicked out of bumight's blog<br /><br />She started a party and did not invite me.<br /><br />Help me beg her royal highness o!!!<br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">I WANT IN!!</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">N.B. Bumight, just incase you are reading this, i just had to put you on blast. i could not help it. lmao!</span>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-52959520589839277362008-06-02T07:22:00.000-07:002008-06-02T07:37:20.762-07:00The Beast!!<span style="color:#003333;">I walked into the mouth of this beast with my eyes open</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">The appeal of its wildness drew me in</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">i must admit, it wasnt such a beast in the beginning</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">It grew to the monstrosity that it now is</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">I thought it was "tamed"</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">Now i know better, now i see</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">This is not good for me</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">This is not a good place for me and i know it</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">I should turn around and leave this hedious creature</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">It keeps kicking me in the ass but...</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">Why cant i just leave?</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">Run away from this creature that makes my life so difficult?</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">I have a thousand and one and a half reasons to leave and not look back.</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">What reason do i have to stay?</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">I am turning around now, and walking out.</span><br /><span style="color:#003333;">Thats it!!</span><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#3366ff;">This is not a poem o, before somebody (you know urself) comes and starts talking about "i dont like poems" lmao!</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#3366ff;">Its just a thought process.</span> </em>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-72438335591499614732008-05-23T00:09:00.001-07:002008-05-24T21:57:26.466-07:00if you tagged me, stand up, raise ur hands and close your eyes!even though it is work to be tagged and have to tag pple, at least i know that some people even bothered to tag me. i am sure there are some people somewhere on this blogville just watching who is being tagged and praying that they will get tagged soon...to those people, your day will come! lol!<br /><br />Rules:<br /><p>i. link the person(s) who tagged you...</p><p>ii. mention the rules in your blog</p><p>iii. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...</p><p>iv. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them</p><p>v. leave comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged...<br /></p><p><a href="http://tininu.blogspot.com/">tininu</a>, why did you have to join my hit list by tagging me? now i have to hunt you down ehn? well, sorry in advance sha!</p><p>i am prolly going to suck at this but whatever. <a href="http://sovachiva.blogspot.com/">Allyurz</a> wont let me hear word if i dont do it so here goes nothing:</p><p>1. <span style="color:#3366ff;">I like the dark</span>. I always leave my lights off. I can be in the house and never turn on my lights. i live on light from the TV or my fone. My GF tries to talk about how she is a child of the light and turns on the light but that does not change the fact that I LIKE THE DARK!!</p><p>2. <span style="color:#3366ff;">I like looking at myself</span>. It is okay for a dude to look in the mirror a little just to make sure he is on point but i dont believe i can walk past a mirror or a reflecting surface for that matter without checking myself out. I am not saying i am a fine boy or anything, i just do it. I dont even know what i hope to find looking at myself that often. anyways, dont bring a reflecting surface or a mirror around me cos I LIKE TO LOOK AT MYSELF!!</p><p>3. <span style="color:#3366ff;">I can't sleep if an issue is bothering me</span>. If i have an issue on my mind, i cant sleep. The only way i will get sleep is to address it or get up and start typing. (i am up now at 3:26am cos i have an issue and here i am typing) proof enough? this nonsense just started too. i never used to be like that, i used to be able to sleep regardless but i went thru some trial times and i came out like this o. Sometimes i wanna talk an issue thru with GF, i cant sleep until i do but guess what...she is jonzing in la la land! </p><p>4.<span style="color:#3366ff;"> I smell my own fart</span><span style="color:#000000;">. I almost always cant smell much because of a sinus situation, however, when i have the pleasure of enjoying my olfactory priviledges, i maximize it. I sometimes roll up my windows just before i drop the bomb. drop it, smell it and mediate a bit on how disgusting it smells and why it smells that bad, what i ate...then i shout "eewwww" and roll down my windows to save my self from death by smelling!! if it does not smell, i just hope for better luck next time.</span></p><p>5. <span style="color:#3366ff;">I yarn and stretch a lot when i am tense or under pressure</span><span style="color:#000000;">. if i am waiting for an interview or a public performance, i tend to yarn and stretch a lil too much. People around me think i have not had a lot of sleep cos i been preparing or some shit like that...na lie! na tension just dey catch me joo. If i am about to "toast" a babe, you are likely to see me yarning and stretching so, <a href="http://sovachiva.blogspot.com/">Allyurz</a>, <a href="http://this-is-why-i-write.blogspot.com/">bumight</a>, <a href="http://milanoespar.blogspot.com/">jaybabe</a>, if you see me yarning in your direction, get ready for my proposal! lmao!</span></p><p>6. <span style="color:#3366ff;">I have a tendency to track down people who tag me to do hectic things like this one</span>...you know yourselves o, you better go hire body guards.</p><p><br />i cannot believe i did this. and guess what, as i was finishing number 6, i started remembering some more but i will resist the urge to continue. its been 2 hrs since i started trying to write this one. thats longer than i used to spend on freaking assignments sef! anyways, i have done it o, lemme hear word now.</p><p></p><p>And now, i get to lay the burden on 6 other people. thr problem is, considering the fact that i am just doing this now, all my potential victims prolly got tagged already but i will just do it anyways.</p><p><a href="http://rhea9914.blogspot.com/">rayo</a>, <a href="http://onydchic.blogspot.com/">onydchic</a>, <a href="http://bimpeoyewo-whatreallymatters.blogspot.com/">bimpe</a>...omo, i cant find 6 pple jare. i am going to bed!!!</p><p>and lest i forget, my graduation went fine, thanks for asking!! ok, i know i did not mention it that much but now i have...i graduated o, 1st graduate in my tribe! all my community money for school did not go to waste. can everybody shout hallelu!!</p><p> </p><p><span style="color:#990000;">UPDATE: i just met somebody and i am welcoming her by tagging her...i give you</span> <a href="http://sweetmink.blogspot.com/">MINKY</a>!!! <span style="color:#990000;">(standing ovation)</span></p>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-35613545648031288302008-04-24T09:04:00.000-07:002008-04-24T10:05:30.177-07:00"Take Your Kid to Work" DayApril 24, 2008: "Take your kid to work" day...<br /><br /><br /><br />I had no clue, not like i had a kid to bring; of course, i could have loaned one from one of the families in my church but anyways, its all good.<br /><br />I got to work and almost everybody had their little rugrats sitting beside them. It kindda looked cool, making everybody else feel left out for not having a child or not bringing yours today.<br /><br /><br /><br />Anyways, it got me thinking...<br /><br /><br /><br />I am sure that there are people who will not dare participate in this event due to the "special" nature of their jobs:<br /><br />I thought of a few, if you know some more, abeg, add am join.<br /><br /><br /><br />1. <span style="color:#3366ff;">Strippers</span><br /><br />Of course, i thought about them first...no prejudice. they do a heck of a job sliding up and down dem poles, tolerating raunchy old men and fine young men (like me) staring and ogling lecherously; sometimes even touching. They work hard for their money and i aint even mad at them; plus we know a lot of them were forced by circumstance into it. However, how you gon take your lil' munchkin to work? The only way it can work out is to <em>take your daughter to show her an example of what not to do as an adult</em> and <em>take your son to show him an example of what to appreciate as an adult</em>. LOL!<br /><br />as an after thought, lets add porn stars to this group.<br /><br /><br /><br />2. <span style="color:#3366ff;">Patrol Cops</span><br /><br />I mean, i understand that you r doing the community a huge service, keeping the hood corners and the streets safe...but you will be doing yourself a "huge Dis-service" by taking your child to the front lines of violence and crime. Several things can happen:<br /><br />a. The child might see the life of criminals and be intruiged, get curious and vow to try it out someday.<br /><br />b. The child might see the life of criminals and vow to be like you in the future to take these guys down... kindda good right?<br /><br />c. The child might get hurt...these muthafuckers on the streets dont give a flying fuck about you and your kid. you are an enemy and all that is yours. Who knows, maybe the criminal actually brought his own kid to work...situation gets messy. lmao!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />3. <span style="color:#3366ff;">Criminals</span><br /><br />Number 2 brought me here. Criminals ranging from petty theifs to Bank robbers to grand theft autos (thats what i wanna call them) to murderers to politicians.<br /><br />I mean, what good can come out of taking your kid to work today? i dont see one.....oh wait....maybe if you get caught and arrested today; God forbid, killed...the Child might learn a thing or two about things not to do as a criminal so you dont get caught or killed. Or just swear off being a criminal, period!...even better. lmao! needless to say that the child will be needing several sessions with a head doctor!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />if you can think of anymore jobs like these ones, lemme know abeg.<br /><br /><br /><br />I will be remiss if i dont mention the super cool jobs<br /><br /><br /><br />1. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Electrical Engineers</span>:<br /><br />i mean, that had to come first. we r just cool like that and we do a heck of a lot of cool stuff. all the kid will be saying all day is "AWESOME"<br /><br />2. <span style="color:#ff0000;">Doctors</span>:<br /><br />Depending on the area of specialization and what you expose the child to...it could go either ways; good or bad. but that does not remove from the fact that Doctors are supercool<br /><br />3:<span style="color:#ff0000;">Astronauts</span>:<br /><br />I mean, even adults still uhhh and ahhh about that stuff...shut up! you know you still do.<br /><br />4: <span style="color:#ff0000;">Pilots</span>:<br /><br />If you ever seen the view from the cock-pit mid flight, you know what i mean.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I can go on and on...again, if you wanna add to the list, be my guest.<br /><br /><br /><br />P.S.<br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">i remember going to work with both my folks at different times...anyday there was no school on a week day was "take your kid to work" day and it sucked after a while! The only place i like to go was my dad's hospital cos dem pretty young student nurses were always rubbing their brests against my head and i lurved it!!! lmao!!!</span>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-18278323188513528642008-04-23T14:53:00.001-07:002008-04-23T14:53:14.709-07:00Buddha Call<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/iPv4PEGcjzM' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/iPv4PEGcjzM'/></object></p><p>trust me, this will crack you up!!</p></div>InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-75983164269938640592008-04-10T10:37:00.000-07:002008-04-10T11:02:31.827-07:00freestyle bloggingjust writing from the top of my head...<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">WHAT I BEEN DOING:</span></strong><br /><br />I have been making changes in my life lately<br />I figured that since its not yet mid-year, i could still remix my resolutions...so i did!<br /><div>I reloaded my life's barrel with the zeal to succeed</div>I registered for the GRE ( cant wait to get tha over with)<br />I finished one of my projects (one more to go)<br />I decided that expecting less from people leads to less dissapointments<br />I decided not to kill myself over issues; its not worth it<br />I caught up on naija's new music (i love gongo aso, lori le, flex and malaria soty)<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#3366ff;">LATEST FOOLISHNESS AT WORK:</span></strong><br /><br />My boss has been showing signs of kolomentality for a while now but today, he just convinced me that he might be suffering from a "brain attack"<br />He said he thinks his dog started talking to him a while ago...i mean i love dogs madly but i dont have conversations with my canine friends. At least not except as a joke or out of sarcasm...or when i am really mad at them, but whatever. This dude was actually trying to explain to us how it made sense that he has all of a sudden become Dr. Do-Little!! I swear, he thinks he is shaggy and his pooch is scooby. Anyways, thats the latest foolishness at my job sha.<br /><br /><br />I am currently at work and the IT guys slipped up today cos normally i can not so much as make comments on bloggers but i guess they goofed today, so i decided to use that opportunity to make this random entry. I swear i have more sensible things to talk about, just gimme 10 more days till i turn in all my course work and am done with this blasted BSc. I will drop some genius on you all after that; for now, all my genius is going into Xilinx, Verilog, logicworks, Motorola HC-12 programming, Matlab designs and the American Revolution.InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6988939527008582280.post-59303112921696048802008-04-03T17:06:00.000-07:002008-04-03T17:36:55.228-07:00Weird Telemarketing CallI am jejely doing my project o, very interesting thing like this. I am supposed to design a chip that controls a robot to identify obstructions, avoid them, bla bla bla. Some cool tech shit sha, but i digress.<br /><br />So i was doing this fun stuff when i get a call from an unknown number. I pick up and its from India.This Indian dude starts by mutilating my name and then goes on a rolling spit about the product he's trying to sell to me. I could tell he was reading that shit right off a script. But i listened to him very quietly and politely. Let him run his rhymes to the end. I am polite like that plus i know he is doing his job. he asks me if i had any questions and i said no. do i have a checking account, i said yes. I already knew where this was going<em>..."we want you to try our crappy product free for 10 days and then if you dont like it cancel; <span style="color:#cc0000;">but first give us ur account number so we can have access to your account when you forget to cancel after 10 days, which we know you will. And even if you remember, we will make it so tedious for you to finish it</span>" they wont actually say that red part...thats the fine-print.</em><br /><em></em><br />I still did not oppose this nice Indian beneficiary of out-sourcing, despite the fact that my day-time minutes were burning. Then he transferred me to another Indian dude who was supposed to confirm the order that i have not yet even consented to...i guess my silence was consent in their script!<br />Sha, they kept saying we got your info from somewhere, so i asked this new guy, where did you get my info from...the rest of the conversation went like this:<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>InCog</strong></span>: <em>Where did you guys get my info anyways?</em><br /><br /><strong>Tmarketer</strong>: <em>Our research group finds the info...</em><br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>InCog</strong></span>: <em>really? i dont like the fact that you guys know my address, phone number, name and i dont even know you. There is no telling what else you know. i dont like this...</em><br /><br /><strong>Tmarketer</strong>: <em>Well, we have your father's name and your social security number too</em><br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>InCog</strong></span>: <em>What? now that is pushing it..</em>.(<span style="color:#666666;">this bitch cut me off!!!)</span><br /><br /><strong>Tmarketer</strong>: <em>SO can i go ahead and set you up?</em><br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>InCog</strong></span>: <em>NO!! i dont want it. You have my social security number</em>...(<span style="color:#666666;">this bitch cut me off again!!!)</span><br /><br /><strong>Tmarketer</strong>: <em>I also have you checking account number and your check card number</em>...CLICK!<br /><br />I am standing there looking like lucozade...WTF? then after like 20 seconds, i start laffing...these freaking dude must be fucking wif me...lmao!!<br /><br />and i dont even know the name of the blasted company<br /><br />Now, these fools got me looking at my account every 10 mins...InCogNaijahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03240147066697248336noreply@blogger.com3