I AM A CULT MEMBER, NO?

For all those who were raised in naija, we know what cults are, and the rep they have in our universities. Truth is they are a bad bunch, killers, bullies, rich spoilt kids who are really bored and... u know what, i need to stop before one of them comes and gets me. lmao!!!
But, anyway, we know about the notorious "eye" (bird) confraternity, black axe confraternity and the rest. And you know your parents will be crushed to know that you were bullied into being a member (as is usually the case) let alone that u joined voluntarily.
In yankee, we all know about fraternities and sororities. at least, we have an idea of what they are, what they do and represent, but if you really get the true opinion of the naija community, all na cult!! its all a fancy cover for cultist activities, they say. I know that not all naija pple in diaspora think that, but a heck of a lot of them do.
So when i just came to yankee, i was pre-sensitized to make sure that i never venture near them o, but in my junior year, i went and joined a fraternity. I will give you just two clues, It is a part of the pan-hellenic council and the first fraternity to cane step (i bet you all will get that wrong).
Anyway, the koks of this blog is that, i have gotten many spiteful looks and comments when fellow countrypple of mine find that i am a frat, they tend to get cautious and a tad hostile. Ki lo de? what did i do to you? ehn? do you know that our great Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikwe, Baba Olatunji and dem were frats? E so ara yin o!!
I cant even tell my folks, i already know they will not listen to any explaination. IT IS A CULT, they will say. Thats what other adults around here said already, talk less of my folks who are not even here in the states.
I wonder how many of you my naija people out there are frats or sorors who understand what i am saying. even if your greek experience has been different; If you r out there, or you have an opinion about this, lemme know whachu think.
I REP MY FRAT!!!

My first time...

I was the kind of guy that always had chicks milling around so pretty much everybody assumed that i was not a virgin...well, that was not true. fact is that i was scared of having sex as i never did it before. I left high school and the farthest i went was fingering a girl when we were on lunch break and i went around giving boys to smell and i was like the big dawg for that, little did i know that was less than half the fun sef!!
Sha, i went on to college, i was an upwardly mobile kid who got into OAU at 15 for double elect, still a freaking virgin but it never really bothered me till i got this roommate in ETF hall. This boy was in his second year when i was a jambite and he was a self proclaimed sex god. He kept on telling me about the beauties of the art of sex, he broke it down to me and really gave me dubs on the whole topic, by the time i was a 2nd year stalite, i had a jambito girlfriend who was like 3 years older than i was (yes, i was that good!!)
We got to kissing and touching in the car several times but whenever she wanted to do the do, i always had a lame excuse like "i want to drink water" or "let us go get something to eat, i am hungry"
One day, this chick just gave it to me straight say she need to get served as i dey gawk my responsibilities, i said ok, next time we reach this point, i will show you who i be. she said "abi you are a virgin ni?" i was like " you must have lost your mind, just wait and see."
i ran to my roommate, "Ol'boy, ol'girl don ask me say she wan fuck o, wetin i go do?" dude, gave me my first 'gold circle' and told me to go for it, he knew i was ready. lol!!
If you know Ife well, you will know that there r some places like 'motion ground', 'spyda building' and dem where the do goes down; usually orientation for jambito girls by stalite boys or vice-versa in extreme cases. if you wanna do the do or watch the do, you knew where to go.
I sha took my babe and said "lets go for a drive" she already knew what i meant cos i did not say any other word before or after that till we got to our destination, 'spyda building'. we drove round to the back of the building to where the halogen lights were out, and we parked the car. you could cut the tension in the car with a knife. I turned on some westlife, (those guys can get a girl set, trust me) I was so much on my game that you would have thought 'shit, this dude is smooth, he must do this a lot'
we got to kissing and i expertly unhooked her bra with the snapping motion of the thumb and the middle finger. She was impressed. I then slipped my left hand under her dress and held her right breast, it was already turgid and the nipple was at attention. By now, i was kissing her neck and nibbling on her ears. She was so turned on by that time that she started to take off her pants herself. I moved my hand from her tits to her already wet pussy and found the clit in no time. ( this sounds pretty experienced for a first timer huh? props to my roommate) i was thanking him as i saw the effects of the shit i was doing to her. she was twisting and turning now so i decided it was time; i unzipped my pants and brought out 'kpakos momentos' for the first time for a girl and used one hand to slip my gold circle on (another expert move), reclined her seat and decided not to outdo myself, i went for the ever simple missionary position. i gently lowered myself into her and it was like i heard a choir behind my ears singing the halleluyah chorus and light coming out from behind the clouds, i was entirely feeling like i was out of my body, the tightness and the wetness, her look when i came in, her gasp, the whole thing was like Whoa!!!! i started thrusting slowly, in and out and her moans encouraged me. By this time, the car windows were all fogged up. she was moaning loudly and i was enjoying myself to no end and then....
Kra! Kra! Kra!! somebody tapping on my window, shouting " come out here!! God don catch you today!!! na you dey come here dey steal from this building!!!" Naturally, ol'girl starts to panic but i just calmly got off her and got on my seat in the driver's side. I guess that experience just gave me some major balls. "What is it?" i asked calmly after winding down, they said come out. Girl was panicking and quickly pulled up her pants. came out of the car already and was on her knees begging the guys on her side of the car, i did not see that cos i was focused on the guys on my side. they were like "settle boys so we dont tell anybody what you were doing here and you can go back to what you were doing" i said " 1st, i cant go back to what i was doing, at least not today, and secondly, you are going to tell who what? who cares? it is the general order of things on this campus" i sha talked to them about how we should squash this and go our separate ways. look at this boys trying to gba me like say i be jambito, i was not having that. unknown to me, the jambito on the other side, thats my girl already gave the other boys all her money so they will not talk to anybody about this.
They let us get back in the car and she was crying now, told me to drive away from there. i was just calm but she was crying and then after a while she told me to stop and she was raving mad that i was calm as i was. she said "drop me here, i cant stand you right now" , "what did i do now?" i asked, " you need to calm down, she was crying convulsively now. damned jambite! lol!
i sha calmed her down and dropped her off in front of her dorm in Mozambique hall. I told her i was sorry about what happened and assured her that there is nothing that just happened that was uncommon on OAU campus. I told her everything was going to be alright. gave her a hug and kissed her lightly on the lips. then let her go. I watched her walk into her dorm and all i could think was " I cant believe i had sex today!!!!"

God Bless America!!!

Like i said before, I am a truly innocent naija boy who was thrown into the chaos craziness of 'yankee'.

I was a JJC in the states o, on the bus, minding my business. meanwhile, being new in the states, i was still trying to figure out where all the pretty girls i used to see in the movies were, cos i sure was not seeing any of them around. I had hopes that all those pretty girls i see in the yankee movies will be hanging out all over the place, you know... i was about to give up on the hopes of ever getting a shot at a pretty movie-type yankee girl. On this day, i was about to be lucky.
So i was on the bus and this akata chick, fine as hell, long hair, big breast, nice ass (as i later found out cos she was sitting when we met) pretty smile...digression... anyway, so she asks me for directions to the street where she was going, and me being jjc, could not help her, and i told her so. she however did not stop there, asked me for my number cos she was new in town and needed a friend...Halleluyah!!! ehn? anyway, lets not get too excited yet. so we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.
Weeks later, i get a call and its akata girl. she wanted to hang out and by this time, i got a car so i said i was going to pick her up. she said i should park in a shopping complex around the corner and that she will meet me there(curious thing right? but my raging testosterone had clouded my brain).
To cut the long story short, that night, while we were out, she says to me "I wanna fuck you". Ehn?!!! i was like "sorry, what did you say?" and she said "i said i wanna fuck you, you scared?"
Ha!! me? Naija Boi? scared? lmao!!! the abruptness of such a request was just crazy, you damned skippy i was taken aback for a while, only for a while sha, before yours truly stepped up to the plate and said "me? scared? do i look scared to you? shit! lets do it!!"
This akata chick basically could have been a porn star for all i know. she first told me to just lay on my back and had a long 'discussion' with my 'kpakos momentos', i was like "God Bless America" Then when fuck time came, she was vicious, a gymnast, Omo, all that was going through my mind was "chei, i love this yankee man" it was sweet sweet welcome to yankee orientation. the night ended on a very good note, you boy was a happy mthfkr by the time i was going to bed.
Guess what, this chick called me the next day and in the middle of gist said that she had a 10-month old baby girl who is with her mom in Pennsylvania and that she is currently living with her baby daddy who just came out of jail (that explains why i had to park at the shopping center earlier, remember?) ehn? mo gbe!!! na which kain thing be this? i have to run away...but pussy too good... must get some more of that... i was basically under akata pussy-hypnosis. she said she was trying to turn her life around and she wanted to do it with me by her side, i guess i made an impression last night. she wanted to move out of ex-con's house and start afresh so i was like ok. she said she needed me to help her move her stuff and that i should come by the house when ex-con was out to help her get her stuff. and i did. if na naija, they would have said she used jazz on me, but omo, that thing she gave me last night was fire, stronger than jazz sef.
I went to the house, the neighbourhood sef was the kind that if smthn had happened to me there,the first thing naija pple will ask me is "so how did you get there?" you will never see naija pple around there. it was 'so so so hood'
so i went into the house while ex-con dude was out and as we were trying to pack, she unzipped my pants again and gave me a thank you in advance. please keep in mind that my brain was malfunctioning at this time, if not, why would i be fucking an ex-con's girlfriend in his own bed? i was definitely out of my mind.
sorry, did i mention that she was 4 years older than i was?
anyway, we sha moved her stuff out later that day and i left with my life intact, thank God.
she wanted to go into a relationship with me but she made the mistake of telling me that ex-con dude was trying to get back with her and was blowing up her fone, looking for her and telling her he will fuck her up if he ever catches her and her new boyfriend (me). i said ehn? laye!! me i did not come all the way from naija to come to yankee and get killed over a girl i barely know. so i was like i really am not ready for a relationship, and she was like ok, she will wait but we must continue fucking in the meantime. sometime around this time, i regained my God-given sense and changed my phone number and lost hers. might sound cruel but i did that to save both my life and hers cos this dude was in for attempted 1st degree murder. i was not interested in being part of statistics, the first naija to get killed over a girl within a month of getting to yankee, God forbid!!!
Sha, everytime i think of that chick tho, all i can say is "God Bless America!!!" walahi!!

I REP NAIJA!!

I am a Naija in diaspora and once u leave the shores of motherland, you begin to crave everything nigerian. its crazy!! all the sorts of naija music i never used to pay attention to now get me all hyped and excited. the food...OMG!! the rot of some of the areas even...i crave that too. When did i become a junkie for everything naija? when did i begin to think that "fuji" was a great form of music? or that 'galala', the most erratic dance i ever seen, is so smooth?..........the day i left naija's shores.
Pidgin english becomes boys' first language, it is our best bet of re-assuring ourselves that we still got it... Naija, in us. We speak nothing else around each other. You are considered to be a 'faker' if u act like you cant speak 'pidgin'.
I am no Faker!!! I rep NAIJA!!!

Nice to meet you

I know, i know...everybody claims to be innocent...in the beginning. lol!!
But on the real tho, i am. raised in church, raised to abide by all the rules if not, i answered to the merciless belt of daddy.
my folks were the types that never let anything slide, they saw everything, they knew everything, but why does that not stop a kid from being bad?
Just juvenile folly, i was so bad that my parents figured that the ever so effective nigerian flogging was of no effect with me and they turned to use my mortal fear against me...'stooping down' or 'picking the pin' or 'maize planting' (it is known by many names but the general idea is to bend over and touch the ground with one finger and raise one leg off the ground). the punishment was staying in that position without changing hands(fingers) or switching legs.
My folks knew that i was deathly horrified by the thought of stooping down. I was no punk as a kid, you could tell me you will flog 'shege'(the hell) out of me and i will be fazed none, but the moment i hear "go and stoop down dia" i just start crying and basically beg for a whooping instead. After i figured that they knew my mortal fear and were ready to use that against me to the max, guess what i went and did...
i started practicing stooping down when they go out. perfected the art of stooping down so that when they said "go and stoop down dia" i am like " itz all good" and i will be balanced for long enough to get my dad frustrated(cos he always sat beside me and it was xmas for him when i faltered or stumbled, he will use that as an excuse to flog me and send me back to the position). Believe me it felt good to get him frustrated at his own game... however, like i said earlier, I am an innocent naija boy, been that way since...since Idi-amin ruled naija. lmao!!! yup, nice to meet you too.