Just as i thot i knew what i was dealing with, i see a new thing, a new facet of shit that faces me.
my head feels like a million hammers are banging inside it...my mind is racing with thots. Who said i dont analyze? lol
fork it!!!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
How Easily We Forget
I stumbled on emails from 2003 and decided to browse through my life story as told by my emails... It is amazing how my life has gone from one place to the other and then the next.
I saw emails that made me smile, frown, think, wish, remember...I am telling you, a lot can be learned for the future if we look back.
I saw how i changed, how other people in my life changed, how people came and left, what kinds of ass-holes i met and the nice and awesome pple that came thru as well.
I even saw an email where i was telling smbdy how a friend had called me from naija to ask for money and i said i was broke; he asked me "Why are you always broke?" lmao! imagine the retard...funny times.
I saw love notes, fight notes, funny gists, emails for no reasons (like while we talking on the phone), emails to plan trips...
I saw how politically active i was at a time on campus, i saw emails of classmates sending me homeworks and labs cos i was too lazy to do them myself, lol! I saw emails to my profs lying abt shit to get out of work i was supposed to do...I was such a nuisance in undergrad!! lmao
I saw a few praise-worthy deeds, a few misdeeds...
I have always known that life is not perfect, but i just got a good reminder that my life is certainly not perfect.
Through everything tho, i am still here, 6 years later, Many changes later, Still Standing...
God gets the credit for that.
I know i havent been here in a while, you guys dont know the half of whats been going on...I will gist you all in folds, its a very long thing, actually, a bunch of long things.
I will tell you one of the bigger ones tho, I moved from America to Australia...Yes i now live in the city of Melbourne...More coming up.
Good to be back...will begin my rounds on ur blogs in a bit...see ya there. lol
I saw emails that made me smile, frown, think, wish, remember...I am telling you, a lot can be learned for the future if we look back.
I saw how i changed, how other people in my life changed, how people came and left, what kinds of ass-holes i met and the nice and awesome pple that came thru as well.
I even saw an email where i was telling smbdy how a friend had called me from naija to ask for money and i said i was broke; he asked me "Why are you always broke?" lmao! imagine the retard...funny times.
I saw love notes, fight notes, funny gists, emails for no reasons (like while we talking on the phone), emails to plan trips...
I saw how politically active i was at a time on campus, i saw emails of classmates sending me homeworks and labs cos i was too lazy to do them myself, lol! I saw emails to my profs lying abt shit to get out of work i was supposed to do...I was such a nuisance in undergrad!! lmao
I saw a few praise-worthy deeds, a few misdeeds...
I have always known that life is not perfect, but i just got a good reminder that my life is certainly not perfect.
Through everything tho, i am still here, 6 years later, Many changes later, Still Standing...
God gets the credit for that.
I know i havent been here in a while, you guys dont know the half of whats been going on...I will gist you all in folds, its a very long thing, actually, a bunch of long things.
I will tell you one of the bigger ones tho, I moved from America to Australia...Yes i now live in the city of Melbourne...More coming up.
Good to be back...will begin my rounds on ur blogs in a bit...see ya there. lol
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Pollywood: The next big thing...
Has anybody here heard about Sade OSU? Apparently, thats what she is now popularly known as.
Well, for those who dont know, lemme introduce you to the star of the very first Nigerian porn flick i ever saw. Yes, it was the first cos i saw another one right after it.
Anyways, so Sade OSU is this "sexually liberated" OSU student who took on a couple of guys in a battle of the Gonads, and had it documented and circulated.
The second one was apparently a Unilag babe who looked drugged and in my opinion, did not even know she was starring in a movie. I think the Lag ones got in trouble but lets go back to the OSU one.
My opinion is that if they wanted to make a flick like that, they should have made it well, setting, make-up and all. They just were so random about it, unorganized, the girl who was supposedly taking a shower decided to wash her ass on camera too so that soap wont enter her 'naughty place' during the act! that was just nasty. we did not need to see that. The guys were loud in the background and it took them a while to figure out what positions they wanted to do, mostly because i think the girl was high. She was not able to follow thru with anything...
I have to say tho, that she did have pretty awesone knockers...thats pretty much all i can say about our very own Sade OSU. She wasnt much to look at, so me i just focused on dem knockers which she spent a considerable amount of the time 'washing'. I really cant say much about the boys whose faces were conveniently excluded from the video.
I have not been in Naija for a while but i keep hearing about how my country has changed and is changing for the better. This is the latest one of the changes for the better. We now have a budding porn industry. wetin we go call that one naa, Pollywood? next thing we know, they start making the porn movies at the same rate as Nollywood (a movie is shot in a day and sometimes 2 movies concurrently!) and like Nollywood, Pollywood becomes the second largest porn movie industry after Hollywood! i swear, we r doing big things in Naija mehn. lol! i am so proud. I think i should invest in Pollywood now like Fred Amata and dem did in Nollywood so i can become a bigs boys too o.
Anyways, me i dont knock Sade OSU like some people are doing. I think she is only doing what she likes to do. Nobody can blame her or judge her so please LEAVE SADE OSU ALONE!!! lol
I was just thinking, what if she is a blogger? what if she is a blogger we all know and love? well then she will prolly read this and i am saying Kudos to you girl. Keep doing ur thing jare. you don discover ur own ministry, who are we to say otherwise?
As for the loser(s) who drug girls and tape them, or secretly tape girls while they r having sex with them, YOU ARE SOME NEVER-DO-WELL Losers. Fuck you.
For girls who are looking into a career in Pollywood, u might wanna holla at me cos i will be one of the behind the scene investors. i can sure get u a spot. and if u r a Nollywood drop-out also, u have a chance with us here at Pollywood.
Well, for those who dont know, lemme introduce you to the star of the very first Nigerian porn flick i ever saw. Yes, it was the first cos i saw another one right after it.
Anyways, so Sade OSU is this "sexually liberated" OSU student who took on a couple of guys in a battle of the Gonads, and had it documented and circulated.
The second one was apparently a Unilag babe who looked drugged and in my opinion, did not even know she was starring in a movie. I think the Lag ones got in trouble but lets go back to the OSU one.
My opinion is that if they wanted to make a flick like that, they should have made it well, setting, make-up and all. They just were so random about it, unorganized, the girl who was supposedly taking a shower decided to wash her ass on camera too so that soap wont enter her 'naughty place' during the act! that was just nasty. we did not need to see that. The guys were loud in the background and it took them a while to figure out what positions they wanted to do, mostly because i think the girl was high. She was not able to follow thru with anything...
I have to say tho, that she did have pretty awesone knockers...thats pretty much all i can say about our very own Sade OSU. She wasnt much to look at, so me i just focused on dem knockers which she spent a considerable amount of the time 'washing'. I really cant say much about the boys whose faces were conveniently excluded from the video.
I have not been in Naija for a while but i keep hearing about how my country has changed and is changing for the better. This is the latest one of the changes for the better. We now have a budding porn industry. wetin we go call that one naa, Pollywood? next thing we know, they start making the porn movies at the same rate as Nollywood (a movie is shot in a day and sometimes 2 movies concurrently!) and like Nollywood, Pollywood becomes the second largest porn movie industry after Hollywood! i swear, we r doing big things in Naija mehn. lol! i am so proud. I think i should invest in Pollywood now like Fred Amata and dem did in Nollywood so i can become a bigs boys too o.
Anyways, me i dont knock Sade OSU like some people are doing. I think she is only doing what she likes to do. Nobody can blame her or judge her so please LEAVE SADE OSU ALONE!!! lol
I was just thinking, what if she is a blogger? what if she is a blogger we all know and love? well then she will prolly read this and i am saying Kudos to you girl. Keep doing ur thing jare. you don discover ur own ministry, who are we to say otherwise?
As for the loser(s) who drug girls and tape them, or secretly tape girls while they r having sex with them, YOU ARE SOME NEVER-DO-WELL Losers. Fuck you.
For girls who are looking into a career in Pollywood, u might wanna holla at me cos i will be one of the behind the scene investors. i can sure get u a spot. and if u r a Nollywood drop-out also, u have a chance with us here at Pollywood.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Random Issues (running out of titles pple)
Did you know that Lagos is one of the most expensive cities in the World? It is ranked 30th far above Los Angeles in the 55th position, just ridiculous!! And considering that LA is more expensive than most places in Yankee, its even more ridiculous. Las Gidi, our very own Eko Ile has become Africa's version of Upper Eastside NY!!
I have been shopping for hotel accommodation in Naija for a while now, hotels on the island actually; most hotels in the area average about $300 a night and above, even the crappy ones!! Thats just retarded. i would have never thot they cost that much... on top wetin? I have stayed in Las Vegas for a week for less or a little more than that, and NO! it was not hotel jangozo. lol! it was a good hotel on the strip sef.
Anyways, i have 2 options
- We can pass the offering basket around blogville so you all can donate and we can make this happen, a trust fund of sorts. I know Smaragd (my new blogboo) just got a new job so she can jump this off.
- If you have any information on better rates, holla at me.
in recent news...
The pastor of a church in Illinois was shot to death in the middle of service in front of his church members on sunday, can you imagine that? i mean, what will i do if my pastor was in the middle of a sermon...and then gunshots and pastor is down and out? It reminds me of a story i heard from my Uncle. They got robbed in church during a night vigil; the thieves said that if they had been paying their tithes, they wont be here! and when the robbers asked for the pastor, Omo, pastor denied in front of the whole congregation!! lmao!! if na you nko? My own question is "where are we safe now?" if we can get got in the house of God, where can we run to? if only one of these pastors will call down fire on these fools that disrespect the house of God... MSCHEW!!!
on a lighter note, I heard these 'yo momma' jokes, i just had to share..
1. Yo momma so old, they told her to act her age, so she died!!
2. Yo momma so fat, her driver's license says "picture continued on the other side"!!
3. Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everybody!!
4. Yo momma so ugly, when she was born her mother said "what a treasure!!" and her father said "yes, lets go bury it!"
5. Yo momma so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared!!
6. Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1!
7. Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!!
ok, i need to stop. if you have any good ones, lets see 'em.
You guys, dont forget o, i need hookups on hotel info in naija that wont cost me my whole year's salary...that or a you could just write me a check.
I have been shopping for hotel accommodation in Naija for a while now, hotels on the island actually; most hotels in the area average about $300 a night and above, even the crappy ones!! Thats just retarded. i would have never thot they cost that much... on top wetin? I have stayed in Las Vegas for a week for less or a little more than that, and NO! it was not hotel jangozo. lol! it was a good hotel on the strip sef.
Anyways, i have 2 options
- We can pass the offering basket around blogville so you all can donate and we can make this happen, a trust fund of sorts. I know Smaragd (my new blogboo) just got a new job so she can jump this off.
- If you have any information on better rates, holla at me.
in recent news...
The pastor of a church in Illinois was shot to death in the middle of service in front of his church members on sunday, can you imagine that? i mean, what will i do if my pastor was in the middle of a sermon...and then gunshots and pastor is down and out? It reminds me of a story i heard from my Uncle. They got robbed in church during a night vigil; the thieves said that if they had been paying their tithes, they wont be here! and when the robbers asked for the pastor, Omo, pastor denied in front of the whole congregation!! lmao!! if na you nko? My own question is "where are we safe now?" if we can get got in the house of God, where can we run to? if only one of these pastors will call down fire on these fools that disrespect the house of God... MSCHEW!!!
on a lighter note, I heard these 'yo momma' jokes, i just had to share..
1. Yo momma so old, they told her to act her age, so she died!!
2. Yo momma so fat, her driver's license says "picture continued on the other side"!!
3. Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everybody!!
4. Yo momma so ugly, when she was born her mother said "what a treasure!!" and her father said "yes, lets go bury it!"
5. Yo momma so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared!!
6. Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1!
7. Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!!
ok, i need to stop. if you have any good ones, lets see 'em.
You guys, dont forget o, i need hookups on hotel info in naija that wont cost me my whole year's salary...that or a you could just write me a check.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
No Matter What
I ain't dead, I ain't done
I ain't scared, I ain't run
But still I stand
No matter what pimpin here I am
No matter What
Remember I ain't break, I ain't fold
They hate me more
Yeah I know, Here I go
No matter what shawty, here I go
No matter what shawty
-T.I
I would say that's the story of my year so far... T.I. took those words right out of my mouth, lol.
'09 has been a crazy year for me; hit me like a truck, 18 wheeler! I had completely different pictures of what '09 will look like for me, but guess what... Somebody else had the camera and the pictures were different by eons.
I don't think things have ever gone as contrary to my plans as this year, but i think i get it now, time and a lot thinking seem to have delivered the message God was sending...NEW FOCAL POINT.
It is amazing how we always say "Man proposes but God disposes", but when God actually disposes, we get all bent out of shape. I am getting my own one-on-one lessons on 'Letting go and letting God deal with it', and to think i always said i liked change; the truth is that we like change when it suits our purposes, mostly selfish purposes. Anyhoos, i think i need to round this part of the post up.
What has InCog been up to? Well, i will do a quick run down of what my life has been like since jan 1st 2009.
First Sunday of the year saw me doing a 20 hour drive from my bustling, lively city and state of 5 years to a quiet, small, torpid country-ass skool town in the Midwest. 20 hours of straight driving through the night crossing 8 state lines...what a way to start the year right? My innocent kalista (my car, yes i named her. actually, a friend named her. lol) didn't find it funny at all even though she rose to the occasion and conquered every last 2000 miles of that trip and then some.
So new city and state, lonely, i jumped into the business of getting my ejumakation... i hate skool, lets not talk about it yet, don't want to foul my mood. lol
I became a cook all of a sudden, i guess being in a house alone for hours on end make you do somethings you would prolly never do. Refer to Kitchen trauma for my cooking history. With the help of Awesome friends, i have succeeded in making Stew a couple of times, Jollof Rice (of which, the first attempt was a total fuckery...trashed a whole big ass pot of nonsense i called jollof), baked chicken...next endeavor now is efo and YES I CAN!
i even passed out in the kitchen one day like that after a day of cooking sitting down and shayo-ing. I woke up 3am and found myself laid out across the kitchen counter, lmao! such is my love for the food factory now.
visited 4 new states since i got to this new place, i always left town on weekends so i don't get to feel sad and lonely. that's how i coped, i am fine now. i don't do that anymore, even tho i am writing this from my old city and state. yes, i ran back there...again. 2nd time so far, and i think i will be back in 2 weeks. i love this place, even though i spent fucking 3+ hours in traffic today just for a few minutes of actual business!
I did not want this post to be this long but seeing as i am trying to catch up for 2+ months of activities, i think i am doing a good job. will try to round up shortly sha.
Met the naija people in my new place...i NEEEED to gist you guys about them mehn...seriously, remind me. They r a trip! Some of them r really cool tho, i found out.
erm, what else? oh, of note is the fact that i apparently make faces when i am proper drunk. lmao! Thats what they told me sha, that i make funny faces... also, gist for later. remind me. hehe
Well, i am beginning to feel bad about the length of this thing so i will stop sha.
i aint gone nowhere, i am still here y'all.
STILL I STAND!!!
I ain't scared, I ain't run
But still I stand
No matter what pimpin here I am
No matter What
Remember I ain't break, I ain't fold
They hate me more
Yeah I know, Here I go
No matter what shawty, here I go
No matter what shawty
-T.I
I would say that's the story of my year so far... T.I. took those words right out of my mouth, lol.
'09 has been a crazy year for me; hit me like a truck, 18 wheeler! I had completely different pictures of what '09 will look like for me, but guess what... Somebody else had the camera and the pictures were different by eons.
I don't think things have ever gone as contrary to my plans as this year, but i think i get it now, time and a lot thinking seem to have delivered the message God was sending...NEW FOCAL POINT.
It is amazing how we always say "Man proposes but God disposes", but when God actually disposes, we get all bent out of shape. I am getting my own one-on-one lessons on 'Letting go and letting God deal with it', and to think i always said i liked change; the truth is that we like change when it suits our purposes, mostly selfish purposes. Anyhoos, i think i need to round this part of the post up.
What has InCog been up to? Well, i will do a quick run down of what my life has been like since jan 1st 2009.
First Sunday of the year saw me doing a 20 hour drive from my bustling, lively city and state of 5 years to a quiet, small, torpid country-ass skool town in the Midwest. 20 hours of straight driving through the night crossing 8 state lines...what a way to start the year right? My innocent kalista (my car, yes i named her. actually, a friend named her. lol) didn't find it funny at all even though she rose to the occasion and conquered every last 2000 miles of that trip and then some.
So new city and state, lonely, i jumped into the business of getting my ejumakation... i hate skool, lets not talk about it yet, don't want to foul my mood. lol
I became a cook all of a sudden, i guess being in a house alone for hours on end make you do somethings you would prolly never do. Refer to Kitchen trauma for my cooking history. With the help of Awesome friends, i have succeeded in making Stew a couple of times, Jollof Rice (of which, the first attempt was a total fuckery...trashed a whole big ass pot of nonsense i called jollof), baked chicken...next endeavor now is efo and YES I CAN!
i even passed out in the kitchen one day like that after a day of cooking sitting down and shayo-ing. I woke up 3am and found myself laid out across the kitchen counter, lmao! such is my love for the food factory now.
visited 4 new states since i got to this new place, i always left town on weekends so i don't get to feel sad and lonely. that's how i coped, i am fine now. i don't do that anymore, even tho i am writing this from my old city and state. yes, i ran back there...again. 2nd time so far, and i think i will be back in 2 weeks. i love this place, even though i spent fucking 3+ hours in traffic today just for a few minutes of actual business!
I did not want this post to be this long but seeing as i am trying to catch up for 2+ months of activities, i think i am doing a good job. will try to round up shortly sha.
Met the naija people in my new place...i NEEEED to gist you guys about them mehn...seriously, remind me. They r a trip! Some of them r really cool tho, i found out.
erm, what else? oh, of note is the fact that i apparently make faces when i am proper drunk. lmao! Thats what they told me sha, that i make funny faces... also, gist for later. remind me. hehe
Well, i am beginning to feel bad about the length of this thing so i will stop sha.
i aint gone nowhere, i am still here y'all.
STILL I STAND!!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
HomeWork...thanks Sola!
I got tagged by Sola... supposedly as a thank you gift for being a part of the welcoming team.
I will sha do it sha...
Where's ur cell phone?
Looking at me from beside my laptop, wondering why i am not paying it so much attention. lol
Where's ur significant other?
Wish i could tell you *sob*
Your hair colour?
I am guessing black...
Your mother?
Most awesomest...Love her to bits.
Your father?
Really Awesome dude...Love him!
Your favorite things:
My wheels, My Blackberry...dont know what i will do without my BB
Your dream last night?
Something about getting back what i lost...
Your dream goal?
Owning my systems design company and getting it traded on the stock exchange.
The room you're in?
Living Room...in the middle of the day, feeling like a bum!
Your hobby?
Music, Travelling...
where u wanna be in six years?
Career balling with my brand new family by my side...see me for details
Where were you last night?
Watching the superbowl...Of course my boys won! Steeler Nation Holla!!!
What you're not?
I am not responsible for that pregnancy!!! lmao!
One of your wish list items:
A house.
Where you grew up?
Ondo town, Ondo State, Nigeria!!!
Last thing you did?
Ate noodles...i do that a lot these days...eat! (fyi: i no fat, trying to gain weight to no avail. lol)
What are you wearing?
White t-shirt, black hoodie and jeans houseboy knickers.
Your pet:
Have not had any recently. I had ferrets for a while tho. Cant wait to get my roc tho.
Your computer?
Has been my best friend for the past few weeks.
Your mood:
Quite ok now cos i have good company
Your car?
Is prolly my most prized possession right now....urm, yup!
Something you're not wearing?
Shoes.
Favorite store?
Any Dollar Store.
Your summer?
Have had awesome summers so far...this one is going to be different for me cos its going to be my first summer alone. Wish me luck.
Love someone?
hmmm, long story... I love my family and friends tho
Your favorite colour?
Royal Blue.
Last time you laughed?
Last Night
Last time you cried?
if u had asked me this question yesterday morning, i would have said 3 years ago at grand popc's funeral...but asking me this today, i will say yesterday, a bug flew into my eye. lol!
Are you a bitch?
I certainly hope not. lol!
Favorite pastime:
Music
Hater or lover:
I like to think i am a lover...i can hate pretty intensely too. lol
Genuine or fake:
I think i am genuine. never been called fake before so it stands at Genuine.
Any vices?
Procastination maybe, vain sometimes maybe. or maybe i am just perfect. lol
Pro life or wire hanger:
Its a matter of choice and circumstances...explanation will take a whole post.
Mccain or Obama:
Mc what? Barrizu Obizzu all day long!!
Pro-plastic or natural:
natural is always better but plastic has a way of just appealing to your senses from afar. lmao!!
Dream job?
Where the big bucks roll in...
This thing was like homework or like a project and i will like to pick my project partners...NaijaBabe, Smaragd, Honeywell, Icequeen, Funms and NDQ....if u heard ur name, please shout present, raise ur hand and come forward.
I will sha do it sha...
Where's ur cell phone?
Looking at me from beside my laptop, wondering why i am not paying it so much attention. lol
Where's ur significant other?
Wish i could tell you *sob*
Your hair colour?
I am guessing black...
Your mother?
Most awesomest...Love her to bits.
Your father?
Really Awesome dude...Love him!
Your favorite things:
My wheels, My Blackberry...dont know what i will do without my BB
Your dream last night?
Something about getting back what i lost...
Your dream goal?
Owning my systems design company and getting it traded on the stock exchange.
The room you're in?
Living Room...in the middle of the day, feeling like a bum!
Your hobby?
Music, Travelling...
where u wanna be in six years?
Career balling with my brand new family by my side...see me for details
Where were you last night?
Watching the superbowl...Of course my boys won! Steeler Nation Holla!!!
What you're not?
I am not responsible for that pregnancy!!! lmao!
One of your wish list items:
A house.
Where you grew up?
Ondo town, Ondo State, Nigeria!!!
Last thing you did?
Ate noodles...i do that a lot these days...eat! (fyi: i no fat, trying to gain weight to no avail. lol)
What are you wearing?
White t-shirt, black hoodie and jeans houseboy knickers.
Your pet:
Have not had any recently. I had ferrets for a while tho. Cant wait to get my roc tho.
Your computer?
Has been my best friend for the past few weeks.
Your mood:
Quite ok now cos i have good company
Your car?
Is prolly my most prized possession right now....urm, yup!
Something you're not wearing?
Shoes.
Favorite store?
Any Dollar Store.
Your summer?
Have had awesome summers so far...this one is going to be different for me cos its going to be my first summer alone. Wish me luck.
Love someone?
hmmm, long story... I love my family and friends tho
Your favorite colour?
Royal Blue.
Last time you laughed?
Last Night
Last time you cried?
if u had asked me this question yesterday morning, i would have said 3 years ago at grand popc's funeral...but asking me this today, i will say yesterday, a bug flew into my eye. lol!
Are you a bitch?
I certainly hope not. lol!
Favorite pastime:
Music
Hater or lover:
I like to think i am a lover...i can hate pretty intensely too. lol
Genuine or fake:
I think i am genuine. never been called fake before so it stands at Genuine.
Any vices?
Procastination maybe, vain sometimes maybe. or maybe i am just perfect. lol
Pro life or wire hanger:
Its a matter of choice and circumstances...explanation will take a whole post.
Mccain or Obama:
Mc what? Barrizu Obizzu all day long!!
Pro-plastic or natural:
natural is always better but plastic has a way of just appealing to your senses from afar. lmao!!
Dream job?
Where the big bucks roll in...
This thing was like homework or like a project and i will like to pick my project partners...NaijaBabe, Smaragd, Honeywell, Icequeen, Funms and NDQ....if u heard ur name, please shout present, raise ur hand and come forward.
Friday, January 16, 2009
tawakalitu don shenj -leta from amerika
Guys, i know i been away for quite some time. e get plenty plenty things wey dey shele wey dey ok, and e get some wey no suppose dey shele, but the remote control still dey Baba God hand. I dey kampe. lmao.
I been doing a lot of travelling lately and so i will use that as my excuse for not being around blogville that much...not the kinds of travelling i would have wanted this Xmas time but trips still. Anyways, so thats my story and i am sticking to it!!!
So i found this letter somewhere, i dont even remember where but i just had to share it wif u guys. i think i tweaked it here and there, lets hope i did not fk it up yet. lol
Here it goes:
My Dia Moda,
How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage.
Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no good o!
I know sey you don spend plenty money on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am.
Effa since she enta house na so so wahala and complain. She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.
The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh....me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kain play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kain ting.
Dem do small party for my work and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go. And my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet!
Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear!
My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this? Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am!
Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come?
Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu pepper soup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow?
Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food ..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad...who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko!
Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf....for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me...her time don reach O!
Moreofa...she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem.
One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kain funny sef...dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot!
The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get......I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O!
Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef...I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron ....sey me I no get any yams for leg.
Mama me I no know O...but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money buy as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi. The same Tawa wey we dey call 'Samba' for fillage come dey look like sey I dey suffer am...her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am....her neck now big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like we dey do for fillage she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!!
For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry 'No Smoking' sign put for parlor! Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englis wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again ...how she go get job like she get for Naija for here?
Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me.....if to sey na Asake I carry come America E no go be like this..Asake no go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff....abeg reply in time before I commit O...
Na me,
your son
Kasali.
I been doing a lot of travelling lately and so i will use that as my excuse for not being around blogville that much...not the kinds of travelling i would have wanted this Xmas time but trips still. Anyways, so thats my story and i am sticking to it!!!
So i found this letter somewhere, i dont even remember where but i just had to share it wif u guys. i think i tweaked it here and there, lets hope i did not fk it up yet. lol
Here it goes:
My Dia Moda,
How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage.
Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no good o!
I know sey you don spend plenty money on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am.
Effa since she enta house na so so wahala and complain. She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.
The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh....me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kain play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kain ting.
Dem do small party for my work and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go. And my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet!
Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear!
My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this? Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am!
Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come?
Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu pepper soup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow?
Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food ..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad...who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko!
Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf....for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me...her time don reach O!
Moreofa...she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem.
One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kain funny sef...dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot!
The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get......I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O!
Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef...I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron ....sey me I no get any yams for leg.
Mama me I no know O...but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money buy as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi. The same Tawa wey we dey call 'Samba' for fillage come dey look like sey I dey suffer am...her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am....her neck now big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like we dey do for fillage she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!!
For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry 'No Smoking' sign put for parlor! Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englis wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again ...how she go get job like she get for Naija for here?
Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me.....if to sey na Asake I carry come America E no go be like this..Asake no go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff....abeg reply in time before I commit O...
Na me,
your son
Kasali.
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