InFiNiTy

I know...i know...
I have been AWOL for a minute, what can i say? the powers that be have been trying to hold me down...but they will not be able, insha allah!!


This one i knew i had to share with you guys...

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

When i heard this quote like 2 weeks ago, i actually laughed and thought in my mind, that dude is just bitter against the human race joo!

As if Albert heard me, he orchestrated an occurence to prove to me that just when you think you can hear nothing 'stupider', another one just springs up on you. It went like this:

I went to work as usual on this day but i was told that my station was temporarily changed so that i could be in the same room with a group that i normally communicate with via email. They were trying to make the relationship more personal; it did not work tho!!!

So while i am in this room with like 5 people, work is going on as usual until this molato girl comes in all ghetto fab, loud...you know the type. The moment she walked in, noise start o. we no go fit hear word again. She has an opinion about everything and she no even know jack shit!!

But of all the shit that rolled off her tongue and fell out her mouth, these two really made me apologize to Einstein for not believing him in the first place.

First:

Dude 1: mehn, i'm hungry. y'all want some food from the five guys down the road?

African Babe: no. i prefer jamaican.

Dude 1: oh yea! actually there is this jamaican place not too far from here, they serve this stuff they call plaintain. Its like bananas but its fried. That joint good (talking to the other dude in the room)

African babe: yup! plaintain is good. trust me

Dude 2: oh for real? cool lets try that then.

Molato: whachu 'caull' it again?

Dude 1: plaintains. i swear, i tried it once and i been going back ever since mehn.

Molato: oh hell no. I ain gon try that shit.

Dude 1: Why not?

Molato: I ain gon eat no shit that sound like Plantation

You need to have seen how my jaws dropped. If she was trying to be funny, it would have been a good, even great joke; but she was serious as a heart attack.
everybody was shocked but i was stunned because i could not believe that she was not making a joke. I am sure Albert was sticking his tongue out at me like "i told you so"

I was still recovering from the first blow to my sensibilities when the second one came and just knocked me out.

Dude 1: so i'm gonna get the lil jerk chicken joint wif the plaintain and some rice.

Dude 2: Whats the difference between jerk chicken and regular chicken?

Molato: Duh!! Jerk chicken is jerked!!

Silence........

All these stupidity from one single person's mouth in a space of 10 mins? gaddamn!!

I just looked straight at the sky and mouthed, " i will never disbelieve anything you say ever again Albert. you talk true!!"

Then they ask me, "InCog, why dont you ever say nothing?"

I say "nothing, i just be chillin."

in my mind, "cos y'all so stupid, i will be losing brain cells talking wif most of you!!"

i dont intend to be condescending but maybe its just this particular group.