tawakalitu don shenj -leta from amerika

Guys, i know i been away for quite some time. e get plenty plenty things wey dey shele wey dey ok, and e get some wey no suppose dey shele, but the remote control still dey Baba God hand. I dey kampe. lmao.

I been doing a lot of travelling lately and so i will use that as my excuse for not being around blogville that much...not the kinds of travelling i would have wanted this Xmas time but trips still. Anyways, so thats my story and i am sticking to it!!!

So i found this letter somewhere, i dont even remember where but i just had to share it wif u guys. i think i tweaked it here and there, lets hope i did not fk it up yet. lol

Here it goes:


My Dia Moda,

How are you? I hope you in the good kondishon of healt and hope efriting is fine in the fillage.
Mama I know oyibo sef talk am sey mother knows best but this wife wey you pick for me no good o!

I know sey you don spend plenty money on dowry but she no act reach for wetin we pay for am.
Effa since she enta house na so so wahala and complain. She reach here finish and her goat begin follow dog waka. First ting she wan do be say make I find am oyibo name because none of her friends dey bear Tawakalitu or sontin like dat.

The akata wife wey my friend marry to get Iwe Ilu don dey influence her tinking. Nowadays if I tell Tawa to press my singlet she go tell me to take my mouth touch am for yansh....me wey don dey here long time sef no sabi wetin dat one mean and if na dat kain play my friend dey play wit im wife na im palava be dat but me I no go copy dat kain ting.

Dem do small party for my work and as the proud son of my fada I wear dat Kembe with dog ear-ed cap wey you send me go. And my wife begin complain of how I no get shame dey wear outfit wey im trouser no cover knee well well go bankwet!

Eniwe as she see the look for my face she see sey I no dey gree shenj am and she sef come go shenj and you for see wetin she wear!

My moda na the same Tawa wey you write me sey dem take masquerade escort am enta plane be this? Agument begin afta dat becos the ting wey she sef wear no efen reach knee talkless to cover am!

Fodamore, she no sabi cook! Why dem no send am go Iya Sule buka make she get small training before dem send am come?

Mama when she stir Amala the lumps wey dey inside am big pass Joe Lasisi fist! And her stew nko? ha! E get sontin here wey dem dey call oodus-of-noodus (take style rezembu pepper soup small but E no get maggi or salt) with water wey look like dem juss take am wash hand after chop and na so her stew dey look and taste..and if I no chop am she go vex me! If no be sey I dey use palmwine push am through my troat I for dey starve. How pesin go take Eba chop stew wey dey flow go elbow?
Naija food she neffa sabi make finish and now Tawa don dey try cook oyibo food ..na so my wife go tanda for kitchen dey look inside book before she troway sontin for pot! The other day he come carry sontin put for my front talk sey na salad...who go follo am chop dat one? Emi ko!
Na only goat me I sabi sey dey chop cold leaf....for man like me wey dey proud sey aniting wey people for Lagos sef dey take two or three different pieces of metal chop me I fit use one hand do am you know sey this one don pass me...her time don reach O!

Moreofa...she no dey siddon for house for efening again sha! Na so her akata fren go come carry am commot for house waka go..so for two days I follo dem.
One day like this I follo dem enta one building wey inside one glass room dem line up and all of dem come dey jump up and down for notin! The place dey one kain funny sef...dem bicycle get pedal but if you use am the ting no dey comot for the same spot!
The nex time I follo dem na anoda surprise I get......I no sabi wetin I do this akata woman wey wan come turn my wife into AJEBOTA finish O!

Regular shoe no do am again na the one wey get tire underneath she come dey take waka for the place! I no know how dem fit dey do am sef...I try am afta dem comot and na so so yansh man pikin dey take nak for ground. She efen come get odasiti to tell me sey ma agemates dey chop iron ....sey me I no get any yams for leg.

Mama me I no know O...but I feel like sey make I return am. I no sabi wetin she dey take soup money buy as the kin food she dey chop no show for im bodi. The same Tawa wey we dey call 'Samba' for fillage come dey look like sey I dey suffer am...her trademark extra large yansh don run enta finish O! I suspect dat place wey she dey go jump but I no wan make she know sey I follo am....her neck now big pass ostrich own and if I say make she follo me chop pounded yam with assorted meat take pammy wash am down like we dey do for fillage she go begin complain sey fat dey inside! chei!!!!

For my own house I no fit light my pipe inside as she don carry 'No Smoking' sign put for parlor! Tawa wey no read pass primary two don dey blow the kin englis wey I no dey understand wetin she dey talk and she no dey practice with the sewing machine wey I buy am again ...how she go get job like she get for Naija for here?

Mama abeg gif me adfice as this one don tire me.....if to sey na Asake I carry come America E no go be like this..Asake no go shenj and she dey hear word from ma mouff....abeg reply in time before I commit O...

Na me,
your son
Kasali.