if you tagged me, stand up, raise ur hands and close your eyes!

even though it is work to be tagged and have to tag pple, at least i know that some people even bothered to tag me. i am sure there are some people somewhere on this blogville just watching who is being tagged and praying that they will get tagged soon...to those people, your day will come! lol!

Rules:

i. link the person(s) who tagged you...

ii. mention the rules in your blog

iii. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...

iv. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

v. leave comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged...

tininu, why did you have to join my hit list by tagging me? now i have to hunt you down ehn? well, sorry in advance sha!

i am prolly going to suck at this but whatever. Allyurz wont let me hear word if i dont do it so here goes nothing:

1. I like the dark. I always leave my lights off. I can be in the house and never turn on my lights. i live on light from the TV or my fone. My GF tries to talk about how she is a child of the light and turns on the light but that does not change the fact that I LIKE THE DARK!!

2. I like looking at myself. It is okay for a dude to look in the mirror a little just to make sure he is on point but i dont believe i can walk past a mirror or a reflecting surface for that matter without checking myself out. I am not saying i am a fine boy or anything, i just do it. I dont even know what i hope to find looking at myself that often. anyways, dont bring a reflecting surface or a mirror around me cos I LIKE TO LOOK AT MYSELF!!

3. I can't sleep if an issue is bothering me. If i have an issue on my mind, i cant sleep. The only way i will get sleep is to address it or get up and start typing. (i am up now at 3:26am cos i have an issue and here i am typing) proof enough? this nonsense just started too. i never used to be like that, i used to be able to sleep regardless but i went thru some trial times and i came out like this o. Sometimes i wanna talk an issue thru with GF, i cant sleep until i do but guess what...she is jonzing in la la land!

4. I smell my own fart. I almost always cant smell much because of a sinus situation, however, when i have the pleasure of enjoying my olfactory priviledges, i maximize it. I sometimes roll up my windows just before i drop the bomb. drop it, smell it and mediate a bit on how disgusting it smells and why it smells that bad, what i ate...then i shout "eewwww" and roll down my windows to save my self from death by smelling!! if it does not smell, i just hope for better luck next time.

5. I yarn and stretch a lot when i am tense or under pressure. if i am waiting for an interview or a public performance, i tend to yarn and stretch a lil too much. People around me think i have not had a lot of sleep cos i been preparing or some shit like that...na lie! na tension just dey catch me joo. If i am about to "toast" a babe, you are likely to see me yarning and stretching so, Allyurz, bumight, jaybabe, if you see me yarning in your direction, get ready for my proposal! lmao!

6. I have a tendency to track down people who tag me to do hectic things like this one...you know yourselves o, you better go hire body guards.

i cannot believe i did this. and guess what, as i was finishing number 6, i started remembering some more but i will resist the urge to continue. its been 2 hrs since i started trying to write this one. thats longer than i used to spend on freaking assignments sef! anyways, i have done it o, lemme hear word now.

And now, i get to lay the burden on 6 other people. thr problem is, considering the fact that i am just doing this now, all my potential victims prolly got tagged already but i will just do it anyways.

rayo, onydchic, bimpe...omo, i cant find 6 pple jare. i am going to bed!!!

and lest i forget, my graduation went fine, thanks for asking!! ok, i know i did not mention it that much but now i have...i graduated o, 1st graduate in my tribe! all my community money for school did not go to waste. can everybody shout hallelu!!

UPDATE: i just met somebody and i am welcoming her by tagging her...i give you MINKY!!! (standing ovation)

"Take Your Kid to Work" Day

April 24, 2008: "Take your kid to work" day...



I had no clue, not like i had a kid to bring; of course, i could have loaned one from one of the families in my church but anyways, its all good.

I got to work and almost everybody had their little rugrats sitting beside them. It kindda looked cool, making everybody else feel left out for not having a child or not bringing yours today.



Anyways, it got me thinking...



I am sure that there are people who will not dare participate in this event due to the "special" nature of their jobs:

I thought of a few, if you know some more, abeg, add am join.



1. Strippers

Of course, i thought about them first...no prejudice. they do a heck of a job sliding up and down dem poles, tolerating raunchy old men and fine young men (like me) staring and ogling lecherously; sometimes even touching. They work hard for their money and i aint even mad at them; plus we know a lot of them were forced by circumstance into it. However, how you gon take your lil' munchkin to work? The only way it can work out is to take your daughter to show her an example of what not to do as an adult and take your son to show him an example of what to appreciate as an adult. LOL!

as an after thought, lets add porn stars to this group.



2. Patrol Cops

I mean, i understand that you r doing the community a huge service, keeping the hood corners and the streets safe...but you will be doing yourself a "huge Dis-service" by taking your child to the front lines of violence and crime. Several things can happen:

a. The child might see the life of criminals and be intruiged, get curious and vow to try it out someday.

b. The child might see the life of criminals and vow to be like you in the future to take these guys down... kindda good right?

c. The child might get hurt...these muthafuckers on the streets dont give a flying fuck about you and your kid. you are an enemy and all that is yours. Who knows, maybe the criminal actually brought his own kid to work...situation gets messy. lmao!!!



3. Criminals

Number 2 brought me here. Criminals ranging from petty theifs to Bank robbers to grand theft autos (thats what i wanna call them) to murderers to politicians.

I mean, what good can come out of taking your kid to work today? i dont see one.....oh wait....maybe if you get caught and arrested today; God forbid, killed...the Child might learn a thing or two about things not to do as a criminal so you dont get caught or killed. Or just swear off being a criminal, period!...even better. lmao! needless to say that the child will be needing several sessions with a head doctor!!





if you can think of anymore jobs like these ones, lemme know abeg.



I will be remiss if i dont mention the super cool jobs



1. Electrical Engineers:

i mean, that had to come first. we r just cool like that and we do a heck of a lot of cool stuff. all the kid will be saying all day is "AWESOME"

2. Doctors:

Depending on the area of specialization and what you expose the child to...it could go either ways; good or bad. but that does not remove from the fact that Doctors are supercool

3:Astronauts:

I mean, even adults still uhhh and ahhh about that stuff...shut up! you know you still do.

4: Pilots:

If you ever seen the view from the cock-pit mid flight, you know what i mean.





I can go on and on...again, if you wanna add to the list, be my guest.



P.S.
i remember going to work with both my folks at different times...anyday there was no school on a week day was "take your kid to work" day and it sucked after a while! The only place i like to go was my dad's hospital cos dem pretty young student nurses were always rubbing their brests against my head and i lurved it!!! lmao!!!

Buddha Call

trust me, this will crack you up!!

freestyle blogging

just writing from the top of my head...

WHAT I BEEN DOING:

I have been making changes in my life lately
I figured that since its not yet mid-year, i could still remix my resolutions...so i did!

I reloaded my life's barrel with the zeal to succeed

I registered for the GRE ( cant wait to get tha over with)
I finished one of my projects (one more to go)
I decided that expecting less from people leads to less dissapointments
I decided not to kill myself over issues; its not worth it
I caught up on naija's new music (i love gongo aso, lori le, flex and malaria soty)

LATEST FOOLISHNESS AT WORK:

My boss has been showing signs of kolomentality for a while now but today, he just convinced me that he might be suffering from a "brain attack"
He said he thinks his dog started talking to him a while ago...i mean i love dogs madly but i dont have conversations with my canine friends. At least not except as a joke or out of sarcasm...or when i am really mad at them, but whatever. This dude was actually trying to explain to us how it made sense that he has all of a sudden become Dr. Do-Little!! I swear, he thinks he is shaggy and his pooch is scooby. Anyways, thats the latest foolishness at my job sha.


I am currently at work and the IT guys slipped up today cos normally i can not so much as make comments on bloggers but i guess they goofed today, so i decided to use that opportunity to make this random entry. I swear i have more sensible things to talk about, just gimme 10 more days till i turn in all my course work and am done with this blasted BSc. I will drop some genius on you all after that; for now, all my genius is going into Xilinx, Verilog, logicworks, Motorola HC-12 programming, Matlab designs and the American Revolution.

Weird Telemarketing Call

I am jejely doing my project o, very interesting thing like this. I am supposed to design a chip that controls a robot to identify obstructions, avoid them, bla bla bla. Some cool tech shit sha, but i digress.

So i was doing this fun stuff when i get a call from an unknown number. I pick up and its from India.This Indian dude starts by mutilating my name and then goes on a rolling spit about the product he's trying to sell to me. I could tell he was reading that shit right off a script. But i listened to him very quietly and politely. Let him run his rhymes to the end. I am polite like that plus i know he is doing his job. he asks me if i had any questions and i said no. do i have a checking account, i said yes. I already knew where this was going..."we want you to try our crappy product free for 10 days and then if you dont like it cancel; but first give us ur account number so we can have access to your account when you forget to cancel after 10 days, which we know you will. And even if you remember, we will make it so tedious for you to finish it" they wont actually say that red part...thats the fine-print.

I still did not oppose this nice Indian beneficiary of out-sourcing, despite the fact that my day-time minutes were burning. Then he transferred me to another Indian dude who was supposed to confirm the order that i have not yet even consented to...i guess my silence was consent in their script!
Sha, they kept saying we got your info from somewhere, so i asked this new guy, where did you get my info from...the rest of the conversation went like this:

InCog: Where did you guys get my info anyways?

Tmarketer: Our research group finds the info...

InCog: really? i dont like the fact that you guys know my address, phone number, name and i dont even know you. There is no telling what else you know. i dont like this...

Tmarketer: Well, we have your father's name and your social security number too

InCog: What? now that is pushing it...(this bitch cut me off!!!)

Tmarketer: SO can i go ahead and set you up?

InCog: NO!! i dont want it. You have my social security number...(this bitch cut me off again!!!)

Tmarketer: I also have you checking account number and your check card number...CLICK!

I am standing there looking like lucozade...WTF? then after like 20 seconds, i start laffing...these freaking dude must be fucking wif me...lmao!!

and i dont even know the name of the blasted company

Now, these fools got me looking at my account every 10 mins...

outrageous deed of the day

You know, lately i been doing some really crazy things; dont know, i guess i am trying to spice up a life bordering on boring.

Anyways, i call them 'Outrageous Deed(s) of the Day'

The Debut was a few weeks ago


I get to skool at about 9:40am everyday, 10 mins past when i should actually be in class but whatever. 10 mins is not that bad joo, dont look at me funny.


Anyways, this also happens to be the time when 75% of students get to skool so the limited parking lot is usually busting at capacity. They already told us sef, that getting a parking permit (that we paid almost $100 for) does not guarantee you parking space. What?!! like hell it does, cos this dude right here gon just park in the daggone lanes and be outies!


when the lot is full, people try to work with other random spots that were not originally meant for parking but they allow sha as long as you have your $100 tag hanging from your mirror.


So while i was driving around the lot, amongst other drivers looking for space, time is going; its now almost 9:50am, i find a spot that can take two cars but there is only one car. Ope o, so i head for the place only to find out that this bastard son-of-a-biscuit-eating bulldog parked in the middle putting head in one spot and tail in the other, now no other car can fit in there. WTF!! i am livid. i was about to drive off in anger...wait a sec, "you gon let this fool get away with this shit? oh hell to the mthfkn No!" thats my evil twin talking.


So i am getting 'later' than i should be, looking for a space and this fool pulls this stunt? i gotta let him/her (i dont care) have it. So i pull up in the lane...and no, i did not scratch up the car or pop the mirrors or windows (thats for babes who have beefs with their ex-boyfies). lmao...i aint that crazy. I just did only the most civil thing to do. I sat in my car, pulled out paper and pen and wrote a stinker, double sided but then i was writing huge.


i did not get to make a copy of the master piece but i assure you that it was an award winning note.

i am pretty sure it started out like' 'Dear mthfkr' and somewhere in there, it said selfish, bastard, learn how to park properly, bullshit, fuck, hell, irresponsible, stupid jerk, etc. those were the key words, and it ended with 'yours, Pissed off Student'.


i then put it on the windshield and drove off, feeling really gratified. I was not even mad at all after i did that. That shit felt too good for real, y'all might wanna try it out someday.


And just in case you were wondering, i finally got a spot at about 10:00am.


Moral(s) of the story:

1. people need to learn how to park considerately


2. If you get really mad, just write a simple note. it works like magic!! lmao!!


As petty as this might sound, and i thought it was at first, i am sure it sent the message and i was appeased. The anger that could have blocked me from listening in class was let out through a single sheet of paper and some black ink. lmao!

The Duped or The Greedy

Yahoozee, the Art.

You know, i am sick of folks calling 'naija pple' bad people because of YAHOOZEE stunts that we (they) pull. At first, it looked like a valid accusation but on closer scrutiny, it takes on a different look.

The way i see it, the YAHOOZER is just as dubious as the YAHOOZEE-EE
When they arrest the YAHOOZER, the YAHOOZEE-EE should be arrested too and sentenced to just as much, if not more, jail time as the YAHOOZER. The YAHOOZEE-EE should not be looked at as the 'victim' but as the 'accomplise'.

Only about 15% (my own rough estimate) of total YAHOOZEE proceedings actually victimize innocent people. The rest of the 85% actually take advantage of other peoples' 'dubiosities'.

popular scenarios:

1. They tell you that somebody you dont even know died in some God-forsaken place and there is nobody to claim the inheritance. After doing an internet name search, they found that you are the closest relative to the deceased. So please come and claim the 156 million Dollars. Your trifling arse knows that you are not related to this person; he is Indian and you are from Germany; yet you act like "oh yeah i know him. he is my second cousin fifteen times removed on my mother's father's side!" See your life? international thief thief!! you sef wan collect 156 million gbola wey you no know where e come from. They say "Oya, come and pay processing fees and taxes, then you get the money" it seems like a small price to pay for free $156 milly right? pshyc!...YOU DON JONZ!!!


2. Somebody tells you they have a discrete business proposal. They work with Central Bank of Calabar and there is some random money in the vault that belongs to Mr. Nobody. After we did an internet search, your name came up. they say, "we know you are a reliable, dependable, bla bla bla" toast you small, make you feel good about your greedy arse. So please contact us because we want to share that money with you. All you need to do is give us your name, sola-sola, addy, etc. P.S. dont tell nobody about this deal o! (red flag)
How you sef go believe say total strangers stumbled on free money and they chose to share it with you who they dont know from Adam? ODE!! OLODO!!
then next step is to western union some money to them to finish the processing, it seems like a small fee to pay for free $89 Milla...again, YOU JONZ!!!



3. We have a chemical, if you put $1 bills inside, they comes out as $100 bills. they show you samples. Abrakadabra! Your greedy arse begins to calcu..."so if i give them $1000, that will be equal to $100,000?" Thief!! you want to turn $1000 to $100,000, free $99k? i mean, some people even figure that the more money they can gather, the more it can transform cos its 100 time whatever you bring. then you have to buy the chemical. LMAO!! you freaking dunce! If they could actually turn $1 to $100, dont you think they would go get a loan themselves, change it to $1 bills and convert it to $100 bills for themselves? they had to come and ask you for money for chemical and everything...you go and borrow money plus all your life savings, 401k and all, and you give it to them, once again, YOU JONZ!!!

I can go on and on but i know you get my point by now. I am not trying to justify the art (because i consider it an art) of yahoozee, but i am just saying that the duped should be just as guilty, if not for anything, for "intent to commit a crime". I am sure claiming money thats not yours and money laundering are crimes; felonies if i may say so.


Lets not pile all the blame on the 'smart' YAHOOZER who understands the concept of human greed and take advantage of it. Lets turn some of the hot spot-light on the 'dumb'
YAHOOZEE-EE who out of greed and dubiousness lose all sensibilities and drop money for 'awon boys'.


I will be remiss if i dont mention tho, that i understand that some YAHOOZEE-EES are taken due to their genuine kindness, now that, i am totally against. We are loosing rep abroad and we are loosing kind people in this world because of that. So if you exploit peoples' kindness in your YAHOOZEE business ,you aint got my vote hommie.


However, as long as there are greedy fools out there, who are ready to break the law for millions, there should be YAHOOZERS out there to teach them a useful lesson. Thats all i am saying.


if you were not looking for freebies, you wont get duped...most of the time. lmao!

AWOF dey run belle!!

Disclaimer: The writer is not a YAHOOZER, just an observer who has seen and heard a lot of naija bashing due to the art of YAHOOZEE with no reference to the vices of the
YAHOOZEE-EE.